|Vena Amoris| ~!We are 4 years old!~

2010-05-10T11:48:00.003+08:00

WHEN THE ROAD ENDS

I WILL NO LONGER BLOG HERE.

BUT I WONT CLOSE THIS BLOG
BECAUSE IT HOLDS ALL OUR MEMORIES
WHICH I CAN NEVER FORGET
AND WILL REMAIN IN MY HEART FOREVER

LOVE U ALWAYS

Time .

2010-03-25T14:12:00.002+08:00

Time sometimes flies really fast.

Like now, when 1 month have passed.
Since I've seen you. Since we've met. Since I've held your hand and hold you tight.
Since I've played a piece for you. Since we ate, watch a movie, played wii, ran in the rain together.
Everyday I miss you, knowing how much I've hurt you.
I stil cant accept wtf is happening right now.
Mayb one day, we'll be back together. Whether as friends or couple I really dont know.

Time sometimes pass really slow.

Like now, not knowing if your love for me is true.
We cant buy time, we only can spend it.
All the things u say might just be empty promises.
I cannot control ur actions, ur feelings.

But,
time stil moves, and we all stil have to wake up for work, to eat, to get things done.
never said it will be easier each day.
never wanted for u to cry for me.
never asked for u to love me
never knew things could turn out this way

I only can figure out one thing.
I think I stil love you,
Cos only u can make me angry, make me cry, make me happy, make me feel lost, make me feel like I belong, all at once.

I dun believe it was a wasted 4 years. I stil hold our happy and sad moments together. Although alot of things we dun see eye to eye. We stil respect each other and try to commit. I like writing a bloody essay on my love story. But some things I just dunno how to tell u. So I just blog about it.

I stil worry about your meals, your work, your stress, things I can do better.
But all only think in my heart. Im no one to do that for you now.
Crying with the rain, my heart is a blur as my eyes right now.

You both deserve so much better then me.
I cant even make a fucking decision.

Single life is better and worse.
But I'll survive.

Why does it hurt so bad

2010-03-06T14:05:00.002+08:00

Do I love you?
I dont know.

Then why am I crying my soul out.
I dont know.

All the things we've been through. All the quarrels. All the flowers. All the birthdays, valentine's days, christmas days, school days. Poor days, rich days, happy days, sad days. 1542 days as of today we spent with each other. Dont mean a fucking thing to u?

Why do you have to appear in my life. Why did you let me love you, miss you.

You.
See all my flaws and stil love me for all my flaws.

He
Dont see all my flaws cos there's nothing he dont love about me.

You.
Like me to do things to make you happy cos you know it makes me happy too.

He.
Like to do things to make me happy cos he'll be happy too.

You.
Hate to make mistakes cos you want us to be perfect.

He.
Does all the mistakes cos he know he'll never be perfect.

You.
Make me want to marry you.

He.
Wants to marry me.

Both.
Love me with all ur heart.
Willing to sacrifice ur life for me.
Work like fuck for a future tgt.
Just want to keep me and love me forever.
Makes u feel that its time to settle down and have a life.
Have only me in ur heart.

I dont deserve,
to be loved that much. Not by both of you.
I'm not worth it.

I din expect it could hurt so much.

Somehow this reminds me of someone who told me, its never good to love 2 people, who broke up because he did what i'm doing now. I wanna tell u, u were right. U were right all along. And u were right, that its impossible to let go.

I cant let go. But I really dun deserve anything right now, other den lots of tissue and hanky, and shoulders to cry on.
TIME OUT.

2010-03-06T12:45:00.001+08:00

I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I zHATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.I HATE YOU.

First Day of Work @ Paragon, Coach

2010-03-03T10:33:00.003+08:00

Wee!

1st day went really smoothly! Sold a bag and a wrislet! =D Alot of things to be learnt. Not really sure what to do. So lost and blur. But everyone was really nice. They tried to help when they could.

6 months contract. Im sure will pass by really fast.

I'm stil having fever and flu. SUX.

The heart wants what it cannot take, and needs what it cannot give.

No.1 will always remain as no.1
I Love You.

Roller Coaster Week

2010-02-25T13:24:00.002+08:00

Loads of updates.

Most importantly, I working again!
Paragon, Coach. Starting next month in March. 6 month's contract.

I'm really tired from all the quarrelling and crying. I just want things to be the way they were. Simple and happy. Even if I turn back time, things will stil be the same right now.
I dont regret.

My phone drop in water. Yes dun laugh! LOL and now i'm using a buang phone cos my contract not up yet. Need wait 1 month. Dun laugh liao la! Next month I dunno what phone to get. Everybody say iphone cos everyone's using it and I said I dowan follow everyone and yet now when I have no phone, I think I'll just get iphone. zzz lol sia.

Suddenly I'm all outta words.
Hmm.
Think I'll update the birthday stuff next post.
Dun get excited guys! I'm super uber excited myself! LOL! Wee!

What a week.

2010-02-09T12:59:00.006+08:00

Jobless.
Ok I think I've said that before.
Tired.
From all the sleepless nights.
Emo.
Just kidding!

Haha.. Alot has been going on recently. Emotional roller coaster nia. Fk this family, other den my sis. U're the world to me man. =)

This update actually nt much of an update. Cos too many things going on and I dowan to type it all out.

Thanks gf for hearing all my problems and giving me idea.. though nt much use. Cos stil cant settle anything.

Really dunno why I have such parents but I'm sure its some kinda test or what to make me stronger. To be independent and realise that actually Im really really lucky to have people around me that love me and teng wo in ways that I feel I'm worth something.

Alvin faster come back leh, I got so many things to tell u. Ur 10 day outfield is killing me. 10 days used to pass by so fast. But the last 1 week I felt I almost died somewhere.

Dear dun always work so hard leh. Sometimes I feel stress for u and that I cant do anything but only encourage u everyday with sms and calls. I'm like ur kp bin. Forever cannot fill up. I guess thats all I can do bah. Love u always.

Adrian! Here's ur update lor. But abit emo la.. Paiseh ah.. Nv update cos too many bad things happening. See ur name here sure gan dong one right! LOLL!!

k la, sign off liao before I crumble into nothing blogging abt things I dowan to think about.

P.s. Anybody got spare room/rooms for rent? Let me know thanks =)

A-LOT on my mind

2010-01-18T02:56:00.003+08:00

2 more weeks to being jobless.
I worry abt alot of things. Alot of things on my mind. They just keep swimming around and around. Make me cannot slp sia. Arrrrr.

Having 2nd thoughts abt the party and stuff. Though there is progress, not sure if mayb I shld just have a private party with close friends or a big one with hopefully all the ppl in my guestlist. Later plan dao so much, nobody wanna go. LOL! no la, i mean cant expect all the people to turn up right.

Hmm. on other things, shld I find a job now? or wait till after CNY. Of cos ideal would be a part time job preferably on weekdays ONLY. So I can prepare for the party and study music and learn driving, and do all the things I want to do.

Tml gonna be another boring day at work. YAWNS!

One of those sleepless nights.

2010-01-16T04:36:00.003+08:00

Yep, One of those sleepless nights where I cant sleep.
Alot things on my mind.
I hate it when I think alot, and then tell myself, "Oi, u think too much la" and then 2 seconds later I start thinking again. Zzzzzzz
Think got use meh?! Why my stupid brain keeping thinking abt stuff..

Stuff that is not impt but I think about it and it becomes impt. Arrrr....

Ok la, I just wanna blog to update a little and move on about the driving thing in my previous post.

2 weeks more to my jobless life. 2 VERY slow weeks to pass.... bad crowd.. dun feel like new year at all. Hahh..

Sorry to those who I owe meetups and meals and catch-ups. Dont complain liao la!!

A little note - things that I think are bad qualities of me. lol

Things that are hard for me to do:
1. Telling lies
2. Letting go, emotionally mostly
3. Asking direct questions
4. Reading maps
5. Rejecting people

Things that are easy for me to do:
1. Cry
2. Spending money (this one everyone is guilty of la, dun kid urself! haha)
3. Trusting people

Those are the things I really wanna change abt me but cant. And I get angry cos I'm like that and end up cant really handle things properly.

Sometimes I really dunno how I'll survive without dear. Almost everything I rely on him, or mayb cos he's always being protective and do things for me without me knowing.

Cant believe we actually had a huge quarrel over minor things after all these years.
And I realised without him I really dont have anyone to turn to for shelter.
As in someone who I can just cry and be vunerable infront of, and not just listen to me grumbling and sobbing and tell me things that I already know.
This is reality ma, honestly speaking say is say only. Anyone can say ya u'll be here for me. But words are empty without action. When sth really happens, u can confirm u'll be there?

In reality, all comes down to yourself when u're alone in the dark.
And maybe that's how we all grow up and move on.

I go back to a house and not a home.

2010-01-05T23:27:00.002+08:00

When I go home, it means I go to my room. I go into my room and never come out. I only go out to pee & shit, shower, find food or go my sis's room. I eat in my room, watch tv in my room, use laptop in my room. I hate it out there.

I'm out more than I'm home. And that's the way I want it. My family = me and my sis. That's it. The less I talk to my mom the better. Who cares if she sees this shit. I dont care. Why are my parents like that. Why other ppl's parents are understanding and thoughtful and motherly! My mom's selfishness has no boundaries. And i'm not exaggerating. I've tried. For years, literally..

Here's proof. And i'm blogging it in black and white to document it. Havent been talking to my mom since september. (Since I started working) The only time I talk to her is when I give her money, when I come home and she nags abt some shit. Silence has been good so far. And I know its good when I talk to her.

Story. Will tell it as objectively as possible. (My thoughts in brackets)
Asking her casually if she would sponsor me to learn driving. (Just ask for fun, who knows right? Although asking might be a bad idea, but dun ask = no chance) Mayb next time can send her to places.

Her immediate reponse was: "Wow, learn driving expensive right? need at least 1k horr" (1k to u like peanuts luh). "No no, cannot, very expensive leh. Later u wana use my car how. Then I will very inconvenient right?"

"Can drive u to places ma."

She continues her rant. "Later I sponsor u then in the end cannot use car cos u will want to borrow, why would I want to inconvenient myself!"
"Later u use my car I more scared ah, more scared u know."
"You think if u I want to go orchard ask u fetch u will fetch? U think u will? I dont think so right?"

(fk la bitch, this isnt all abt u u u can)
"You think I'm that kinda person meh? I alr say can drive u to places wad, if not learn driving for what?"

"So u can use the car lor! borrow borrow, i need to use everyday one leh i got work how u use if u learn driving?"

(So u trying to say that u sponsor me is wasted money cos u will use car everyday and wont let me use? only if u wana go orchard then u ask me fetch which u think I wont? wtf la bitch)
"If you think I'm that kinda person then so be it lo."

Her reply is power:
"Why u like that! I'm just saying later u need to use the car then I very inconvenient right?"
(Why isit all about u?)
She cont.
"Maybe next time when I old and cant see cant drive then u can go learn driving wad. Then I dun mind sponsor la."

I repeated myself, knowing she doesnt hear ppl's replies.
"If u think Im that kinda person then its ok la. Forget I ask, I go learn driving with my own money and get my own car. Next time u cant drive cant see not my prob. Since u think I'm that kinda person also no point."

She rants sth else and goes to her room. Who cares what she say. Conversation ended.
Cant believe how selfish she is.
Wait till she's a blind bitch with no sense of driving then sponsor me to learn driving? By then I think my kids start working already la, sponsor what shit.

So u see, this is no joke. When I say silence is golden. Its pure golden like fresh honey pouring out from a bee's hive. Cant even have a decent conversation with her.

Thanks mom for teaching me to be independent. Everytime when sth cocks up, she's busy at work. Nv pick up the phone. Too busy earning money for herself then to care abt our calls. I sometimes feel like not caring abt my parents. Whatever happens their business. They care the most is money money money! Nv cherish, nv try. All for own gain, selfish actions.

Xian shi as we call it, we stil owe our lives to them. I feel as if I'm no longer their responsibility and yet they are my responsibility now. But how are they my responsibilty when I'm not ready for it yet.
Fk care la, I take care of myself can alr. They so bz earning money can take care of themselves alr.
No one can uds, other then my sis. So dont bother telling me to take it easy. Cos it just doesnt work that way.

Last Month

2010-01-04T16:57:00.004+08:00

My last month in IMM. dreadful sales. gulps!

Somehow I have alot of things I wanna do. But stil I dont have a plan. lol.. jialat.
Things I wanna do: Go back to flute, piano and get that diploma which I've bean dragging for so long. Get a partime job so that I can do those things and stil have money. LOL. Learn driving? For convenience sake cos I'm so darn lazy to go to places. Esp when I always go out at night. Which means I need a GOOD paying partime job. HAHA!

And of cos the big thing that I wanna do is to plan my 21st birthday party! haha ok luh ideas I give for juan to execute. HEE! Thanks and muacks in advance! I have already drawn up the guest list ( so exciting! about 70+ ppl so far ) Hopefully most ppl can make it. =p

Plan so far:
Countdown party on the 10th April - Sat night. Lucky me! =) All u NS guys better make it LOL!
Must have: food, drinks and music!
Location: Function room / Club / Some place that can thon, but dowan chalet. (Suggestions are welcomed, hee)
Photographer needed!! To follow me and take pics. hahha..
DJ, needed depending on location.
Will contact people when most of the above things are decided. Guest list will be posted on this blog so people can see who's going.
~That's all for now~

I shld take some time off to cherish those around me. =)

2009-12-27T15:33:00.005+08:00

I thought bananas are anti-depressants. I ate 2 this morning and I'm stil feeling like shit.
Came down with some sorta flu and fever..

Haha, I can imagine u guys saying, "Shir! Why u soo weak!"
My last post also blogged during my last sickness.. sometimes I wonder if I have some chronic sickness.. keep falling ill.. LOL! kidding luh. Have to admit maybe I'm really just weak..

Lack of sleep and water and time-off to relax.

Busy whole week, working and playing!
I know I cant be greedy, so I shld take some time and cherish those who were there for me. And for those fakers who weren't u can just go fk off. lol

OK, Thanks juan for being so understanding as always. Christmas is always a busy week for us and we dont have to say much to know whats on each other's mind. So, I will make time for you, no matter what. =) Gotta meet up soon! XOXO.

Thanks my gf, karmun for always cheering me up when I'm down and making me happy whenever we meet! Lurve ur christmas present this year! Will always bring it with me. Muacks!

Thanks vin for being such a sweetheart and a good friend. Always finding time for me though u're so busy with the tough life in army. Must jiayou yea! Huggies!

Thanks mei, for ur late-night-cant-sleep company and with you its like our world of our own. Crazy and quarrelling times are never ending..! wahaha.. muackmuack..

Thanks feng for visiting me after work on several occasions.
Thanks to kt, my honourable ass friend who happen to see me working, twice! U nv fail to be my "great" friend. LOL!

Thanks to those who wished me merry christmas!

Lastly, to my deariest lao gong, thanks for being there with me everyday and everynight for the last 4 years. Everytime I think of you, I feel like the most xin fu girl cos no one loves me more than you. So sorry I got sick on our anniversary week. But we have our whole lives tgt ahead of us! Happy anniversary!

Bored at Home

2009-12-12T14:38:00.002+08:00

Sat afternoon. Everyone shld be outside doing sth. Shopping, movie, eating, etc. I'm here, at home, blogging.. Haha

Sick.
Antibiotics and strong pain killers making me drowsy. But I cant seem to rest properly.

Gonna be out of a job real soon.
Back to my slacking days?
I dont think so.
At least last time got people to pei wo. Love those slacking days.
Now no company, only got facebook.
Super uber no life.

Next week class outing I cant go!
Sobs!

Working on christmas eve and day, although no OT, I hope sales go sky high!
Bored.
Im like talking random things.
boo.

Sigh. Come back to me.

2009-12-05T13:41:00.003+08:00

So my slacking days are over. Money earning days are running.

20 more days to christmas!
10 more days to no more braces!
4 more hours to see my dear!

I lost my piano file. Damn sian. Seems like I lost the music part of me ever since I started work. sobs!

And now Im slacking here with no scores to play. No one to pei. I used to love my slacky days but now I feel so bored! Nth to do!

If I said I missed you, would you care? So hard to get what you want sometimes. haha, must really learn to be content!!!!

Lucky I bought our anniversary gift early. Hee. This month not much left after cpf reduction.

Everyone asking me to change job. Get something with better future prospects. But I'm happy there. Little pay also nvm. Though my mom minds cos little pay means little pay for her too. zzz. I stil think teaching music earns the most. But I dowan to teach! Later I become like my mom how! ZOMG kill me.

I dowan science le. Enough for now. How. Can I just be a housewife! lol everyday just buy 4D and hope to win first prize. HAHA!

Teach me to be happier-go-lucky.

Wad a boring Sunday.

2009-11-29T22:34:00.002+08:00

Spend all day at home today. Doing nth. Watch tv, eat, go toilet. Really.

Gotten down with a bad sore throat. urgh, hurts.

Bored.

Spending time with myself is really boring. U'll start to think of the things that happened the last week, and the weeks before and u start to miss all the things that were forgotten. I hate it. I hate to miss you and cant do anything about it.

Being alone is emo-ing sia. Cant get anything done but lazy to do anything. Hah, sounds totally like me. lol!

Tml is another start of the week. Lucky, I dont dread to go to work.
Oh wells, back to the busy retail life, enjoying life like u told me to.

Lived with no regrets.

O.M.G, Kill ME

2009-11-09T19:44:00.002+08:00

The time now is 7.55PM

And I havent open sale yet. Yes u can read that again. HAVENT OPEN SALE! Zero, kosong, zilch!

Die liao lor 1.5 hr more to go and 0 sales! Boohooohooohoo!!

Different Faces

2009-11-06T01:56:00.004+08:00

All kinds of people in this world.

Which is why I like doing retail. Can get to see all kinds of people.
Good-looking
Weirdo
Nerds
Students
Rich
Noisy
Nice

Just like friends
There are good friends, just friends and "friends". And those who claim that they are ur "good friends" but they are not really there when u really need them.

Everytime I tell myself, "suan le bah". I can only do so for that moment. How can you really just "suan le". Tell urself to forget it, that its not worth it. But when the memories start pulling you back, u're back to square one - telling urself to "just suan le". Vicious cycle.

I'm always blind to those who are better to me.

We all move on.
I will too.

Feeling like shit at 2am

2009-10-29T02:38:00.004+08:00

Its 2.30am and I cant sleep..

Feel like my body is dying and I just wish it could. Being so hero thinking I was so strong. When I'm not at all. I havent been sick for so long and now comes the flu, fever and gastric. Luckily I'm able to take off tml. The panadol is making my tummy hurt.

Just wished u could be with me at this moment.
I miss you.
I missed all the late and sleepless nights.

Think maybe I work too hard, have been too busy. I hate it.

I miss piano.
I miss music.

I missed all the things I loved and yet, I couldn't be more xin fu. =)

Celebrating His Birthday

2009-10-26T20:32:00.006+08:00

10am:
Picnic for 2!

Fruit salad, hot dog, nuggets and sandwich. Haha. looks little right. But we sat there for 2 hours also cannot finish. Ate finish hot dogs and nuggets only.

Note: All food personally prepared by me okay! lol.

Presents! Each letter has a question inside for which he must guess what item it is. 5 out of 5, he scores!! There's nothing in "U" cos I forgot to write my message inside.. zZz.
The yellow couple sits under a umbrella at 11.45 cos its damn freaking hot!!

Went back to her place to slack after the picnic and think of what to do later.
She takes a afternoon nap while he plays games and watch tv. Nuaaaaaa...

5.30pm:
Watched Pandorum at Iluma, Bugis.
The ticket-seller asked me: "Are u above 16?"
I was thinking, "KNS, duhhh, are you?"
I said ya, and she replied, "Our people will random check your IC in the cinema ok."
I just nodded. Wth. I'M 20 lar u biatch.

Dammmm freaking scary can!! Holding on to Lao Gong's arm for my dear life throughout the whole show.

8pm:
Dinner at Ma Maison.

Screams pudding!!!

Our appetiser:

Cheese Fritters with vinegar sauce

Ginerale for her
&
Shirley Temple for him

Omu (Omellette)-Rice for him
&
(She forgot to take photo of hers..zZz)

Homemade Caramel Pudding for Us!!
This is really to die for! lols.

Happy Birthday to You and Happy 3 years and 10 months to Us!

Update of my unwanted busy life

2009-10-24T11:07:00.003+08:00

Retail is tiring, that I can tolerate. But every weekend burning out.. thats really tiring. Although is go out enjoy, but omg I miss my nua-ing life at home! The only rest time I have is during work, when there are no customers. I'll just play my laptop, talk to the aunties around me and day dream. Stil not much of resting cos cannot nap! =/

Later going down to pei Gf and Feng to cut hair. Haha, I'm not cutting cos my hair nice enuf alr. LOL! bhb, no la cos I wana leave long hair. Then afterwards gotta go grocery shopping for tml's surprise for my lao gong. Hopefully he wont be stil feeling sick. *HUG*

And then at night, gotta meet hannah and juan for dinner celebrate hannah's belated birthday. Everyweek its like this. Not that I dun like it, I mean out with friends is not a crime, can enjoy, catch up. But when I reach home I'm almost dead.

ok, gotta go dry my hair and get ready. =)

P.S. Thanks lao gong for getting me a new phone for my room. Weee, can disturb u whenever I want now. XD

2009-10-12T18:57:00.001+08:00

Muaahahhaa.. Our new Ez-Link stickers! =)

Ridonkulous People

2009-10-03T16:11:00.002+08:00

And here I thought, " Yes! Dont have to see that irritating bugger from Novena Square cos I'll be at IMM ". Pui, I was so wrong. Here comes the 40+ IT geeko-stalker from the office building nearby. Yes hello, have u been too engrossed in looking at computer monitor that u forgot to look in the mirror? Gawd... He hung around my shop for half hour for the last 2 days doing nth, but stare and trying really hard to make small talk. E-e-e-e-www.

Stupid sia, everytime I kena such people, always is er xin people. Arent there any cute stalkers around? lol. Just kiddin =/

Anyway, I'm happy with my job. Though no CPF, no future prospects, there's no stress, relax, content with my basic pay and best of all, dun need wake up earli! wahaha! Bonus, I can get earrings for free! keke... Here people are nice, boring can play laptop talk to auntie next door, lol.. Dont laugh at me hor, YES I'M FINALLY WORKING & HAPPY. =D

(Can buy loads of shoes now. wee~)

Happy Birthday GF.. Muacks!

Change of location

2009-09-14T00:32:00.003+08:00

Monday, or rather later, would be the last day working at novena square. Will be posted to IMM, start work thurs/fri, to be confirmed.

Awwww gf! Cant surprise me at work no more! sobs!!

Anyway, IMM so far!! But I guess as long as I got music, travelling is not a problem.

Earpiece got spoilt 2 days back and I had to go home alone, lonely with nth to entertain me. haha, thanks to juan we talked on phone all the way from novena till I reached home. lol, loves! But no worries, I already bought a new pinky earpiece today! haha...

Dont know how long I'll be working for my current boss, but it will be awhile before I find another job? Got braces treatment for another half year or so, afraid that if I find a contract-based full time job I will not be able to take leave to go for appointment.

Aiya, anyway I also dont have any goals, got job better than no job.

Unlucky or lucky?

2009-09-11T23:33:00.004+08:00

Got myself into some deep shit recently, if not for lao gong I dont know what will happen to me. Basket california fitness agent pestering me for days to go for some free trial thingy. Hanging around my cart after my work pulling me to go up to their gym. Being the nobel dumbo that I was, I agreed to go for the FREE trial. I even asked him whether its really free. He said yes lor. Anyway, up there he gave me a tour of their facilities and classes. And then he brought me down to sign up for membership. He was being SUPER pushy, and again, the nobel dumbo didnt know what to do. He wouldnt let me go till I paid a deposit of 100 to reserve a price for a membership that I clearly told him I didnt want!! He just wouldnt take no for an answer and I just wanted to get out of there. So I paid the 100 and signed a bunch of things. Firstly, I'm not even 21, and yet he told me he'll put me as 21 and told me not to tell his boss. I got panicky and it was almost 11. Tired, shagged and stupid was my status.

Anyway, I finally managed to get out of the place and called dear. ZOMG kena scolding like dunno what. To make things short, we both came down the next day and he handled everything. Talk to the branch manager and explained to him that I was being forced to sign for a membership bla bla. The manager was quite good, knew immediately sth was wrong. So, he agreed to terminate the membership with no penalty plus free 1 month usage of their gym. Phew, that was close. I then dont want to pay monthly charges for sth I wont have time to go!

Later that day some kid ran into the pushcart and toppled all the earrings. Lucky no earrings were damaged, however one of the stands broke. Zzz. The mother asked how much she shld pay, but I didnt charge her anything. Shld have charged her for some earrings and extra for the stand her kid broke. Sales was bad that day anyway, but I didn't lar.

That was basically my day at work on the 9/9/2009. Suey huhh.

I'm 44kg now, whoo!!! 45 would be nice, 44 not nice number. haha.

At Work!

2009-09-03T19:26:00.002+08:00

Blogging at work!

Currently working temporary at Novena Square, pushcart retail 11.30 to 9.30!

Just moved down to level 1. Crowd is definitely better than level 2. But the people at lvl 2 are nicer. Lvl 1 ppl quite weird. All not friendly de. Aunty wana be sales girl stil give grumpy face, godd.. Now dinner time so hopefully later got more sales haha..

The pay is okayy, but I'm ok with it bah, cos stil can surf net and do my own things during off-peak period. However here very open, very scared things get stolen. Not only shop items but also my laptop! haha, must da bao and ask people to care shop when I have to go peepee. But all in all, stil manageable. =)

Dunno if I shld work temp full-time here first, since boss is nice and time quite flexible, I scared work other place very hard to take leave when I need go for braces appointment. Work SGH would be good, haha, can just walk to NDC for appointment then go back work, LOL!

I stil wana stay home and do nothing! haha, but this job is good la, only working hours abit long. Retail ma, shall not complain.

Please come visit me people! And buy me food haha! I promise I wont psycho u buy things, but of cos, I'll be glad to give u all discount. =D

Miss you and you and you and you and you!!

2009-08-19T18:46:00.002+08:00

Went to dental yesterday. Changed new bottom wire and they are like movable ones. Haah, stil have to put rubber bands though. =/

On the way back, at paya lebar, this asshole nearly knock me down at the barrier. U know how it is at the barrier when u are queing up to tap ur ez link card and u are choosing which lane is faster? Yea, I was waiting in line when the person beside me was stil looking for her ez link card. So I hesitated if I wanted to cut her instead. As I was about to go towards the exit, this tall, bulky and bald guy, wearing brown shirt just came rushing past everyone and elbowed me in my arm, like a shove. I nearly fell down can! What an asshole. It was so obvious a push. Hope he die earli man. Even if u are rushing for time u dun have to push people wad!! Even the aunty behind told me "why got this kinda ppl!"

Ahh, anyways went to an interview later at 3.30 for an interview. Pay was ok, except that they needed someone to work on both sat and sun whole day! Need to find job real soon. Cant keep spending money like no one's business.

oh wells, must not be picky! =p

New TV from Dear! =D!

2009-08-10T23:58:00.000+08:00

Wee!!
Dear bought me new tv on saturday! 26'' samsung tv.. woots!
tytytytytytyty!

Sad thing is, it has been siting there alone for the last 1 and a half day, cos there seems to be a problem with my tv point. Zzzz

So, today, he came with all his tools and wire to help me fix. Spent 2 hours. Poor laogong.

Hehe, and of cos, being the genius that he is, dear managed to get my tv crystal clear. Helped me set all the channels and everything. Full service.. LOL. Love you dearie!!

Went cycling afterwards. Bought back mac for dinner. Shaker fries!!!! =))

The only thing now is that I have a splitting migrane and it hasnt go away for 1 hour already. URGH!!! Panadol not working. Prolly gonna crash and hope it all go away.

Mai Maison

2009-08-05T23:41:00.007+08:00

Woohoo~
Havent been blogging for some time.

Thats cos blogger is stupid. Somehow firefox cant load the full posting compose page. Cant upload pictures, change font and everything else. =.=

Anyway, thanks to mei, she helped me solved it. Loves!

We went to Mai Maison last night for dinner after watching 154 minutes of Harry Potter, which was disappointing, like most people said. Lucky it was tues, tix were cheaper, LOL!

I thought Mai Maison was some seafood restaurant, but actually it was Japanese Western Cuisine.

This was wad we ordered:

This is their famous oringinal hamburger steak with some pasta, egg, veggy served sizzling in a hot stone bowl. yum yum!

This was wad I ordered, Beef sth in butter rice, word too chim I cant remember how to spell. There's omelette on the butter rice, beef and sauce at the side (with mushrooms and raddish i think, lol) haha, abit salty but nice!

Dear asked me to take picture of the place cos he really liked the ambience. Haha, for me I just loved the company! But yea, the place was really cozy and relax. Not like typical restaurants.

We had caramel pudding for dessert. Although it looks simple and plain, it was soooo yummy! Would definitely go back there for that again! haha.. Enjoyed the dessert most!

This was their table number, given after all ur food has been served. LOL, dear bluff me say it was a key for a hotel he booked. haha, silly me to have believed him.

So we're supposed to take the key and bring to the cashier for bill.

Lazy to take pic of the bill, lols. Abit steep but worth it! Food's really good =)

BORED-TO-DEATH DAY

2009-07-20T23:38:00.000+08:00

Today is the suckiest day of the year!

Hate today
Hate
Hate
Pissed
Bored
Sian
Whatever

Ew.. I'm dying of boredom and sianness!! Seriously need to kp here..

I like to slack but slack with nth to slack on is just ridiculous!

Desktop sux cos very slow and all my bookmarks not here!
Nth to do, tv so boring, cant play facebook all day either..
Everyone busy, got work got this got that!
I hate lonliness.. wan die alr!

Great, just when I said I feel blessed, now I feel like the last piece of cake left. Nobody wants, nobody cares. Pui..!

Dear missed my call twice today! No ppl msg wo today.. ew ew ew..
I dont slp earli what am I supposed to do!

Conclusion, I HATE HATE HATE TODAY!

MY POOR VAIO!

2009-07-18T14:40:00.002+08:00

BOOHOO~

My laptop is making funny noises!! Everytime i on will have this weird fan noise, like hard drive work too hard but the thing is, my laptop not even hot! Just on only leh.. rwar...

Dear says it sounds like sth went in jam dao fan or something.. ewwww.. why like that..

Tml bring to service centre diagnose illness liao.. poor poor poor laptop!

Mei dun laugh wo, not my turn ok.. mayb sth really stuck, or the fan not working properly.. Hope its not the hard drive!! sobs!
Thanks for ur external hard drive. XD at least my stuff got back up!

Singing on another note,
Yes, I'm stil living my "tai tai" life.
Although very eng, not very rich eh, living on miserable part time pay and dear's expenses, haha! Muack!

Feel blessed though, not lacking of company of friends and Sis (Note i say sis not family.. lol)..
Though sometimes lonely, there's always someone there to pei wo chat, slack, rot and facebook!
LOL...

Reasons why I dun wana work:
1. I want to spend more time with the people I love who are always so busy!
2. I'm a slacker.. Hhaa. lazy shit ass pig, yes i am!
3. I'm not very sure what I want to do just yet

Reaons why I wana work:
1. I need money, who doesnt!
2. I need to save for the future! I currently have like almost negligible savings =x
3. I cant possible live like this for the next few years? In need of direction!

Woots, thats all i wanted to say today!

Headache!

2009-06-30T11:09:00.002+08:00

Things I Hate in Life:
1. I hate being EMO
but I always get emo easily... rwar!
2. I hate having NO goals
but I really have no direction... boo!
3. I hate it when I'm at the crossroads between how i feel and what i think
because I get stuck for a veri VERY VERY long time!

Things I Love in Life:
1. The Love LOVE LURRVVEE from my dear, special one, sis and of cos friends & buddies!!
Too many things to elaborate here!! Statement so general but actually there are many things i want to say de!

Dear's endless love and attention! <3
Your jokes, company and facial expressions!
Mei's "high"ness with me at home when nobody's around!
Juan's faithful friendship with me and I know i can count on her on anything and especially to nua and rot tgt and do nth but talk all day!!
Mun my Girlfriend, u + me = the 2 siao char bo!
Vin my good friend who has been there for me at times! Really appreciate it!
Ahhh too many ler lar! Can dedicate one whole post for the people I love! <33
For now, like that first.. lol! Paisehh

2. The hours of nothing to do at home but slacking and playing the piano =)

3. When someone appreciates me for who I am and not neglect me when I'm not needed.. =x

OK THATS ALL FOR TODAY !

P.S. Happy Birthday Amos!

2009-06-16T12:43:00.002+08:00

Wahaha.. 2 new lights Dear Dear buy for me!!! Haha.. no need scared of the dark anymore!!

(Top) This one the face I drew cos so not cute just an empty mushroom.. LOLS! Battery operated and muz press down to on the light.. Haha.. ^^

This of cos not battery operated.. Muz plug and got light bulb inside de.. Very easy to heat up.. On for 10 mins very hot already.. I think if i on for 2 hours my mushroom light will melt...zZz..

On the way home, the plastic bag broke! had to hug them back home.. So xin ku! But once I took them out.. wah.. happy dao forget everything liaox.. Wee! <333

Aimless Life

2009-06-11T02:31:00.002+08:00

Work is crap

Like wow start work alr eh!!! Nope.. wrong!

I work like, mornings on weekends! When everyone out enjoying.. Stupid school!! Flexible my ass man! I stil dowan to work.. But everyone else says dun work do what? Slack at home nohhh what else..

Need money for shopping, for outings, for food.. ahh.. the needs of daily life... Damn sian..

Life is aimless

No direction
No Goals

I dunno what to do with myself

Everyday I'm waiting at home for something to happen ...

Waiting by my phone for calls and msg to keep the day busy ...

Not that I like it busy, I just need to find an aim for everyday ..

When will my time come when I can say , " Yeah I'm now doing this ... Its what I always wanted "

I say i'll be doing my diploma.. but to face my mom for advice.. its like uhhhhh.. lets try that tml..
(She really in quite a crap mood nowadays... cant really be bothered to talk to her, much less haven lessons with her.. zzzz)

Dear is ... Stil Dear

His work so busy .. His RT takes up 3 days of the week ...

We hardly talk.. and when we do, there's nth much to talk about. He's too tired. Or that mayb there's really nth to catch up on.. Argghh

Sian..i need DIRECTION.. everyday so meaningless now.. !

Starting Work: Phase 3

2009-05-24T04:42:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna start work soon... Starting of June.. Phase 3..zomg

This home girl has to move her ass and get to work to earn money cos she has been rotting at home for the last 2 months!!

Crazy about this new song (To Be With You by David Archuleta)... the co-singer is actually Kara Dioguardi.. I love her singing!!

Anyways..
I stil havent found my "aim" that motivates me to get out of my bed and drive me to be my best. Sometimes I envy my sis for having so many goals.. It isnt a must to achieve them.. U just need to dream them.. Makes everything so much more meaningful...

If you asked me wats my aim now, it stil would be that ...
I want to marry u!

Things have gone so dull lately..
U're always not around..
And I cant help feeling that I'm losing you
Yet I know u're there and I can only hope that we'll pull through somehow

Urgh..... I hate it when I blog emo entries

I need to be more independent! (But i know i cant ... zz)

Wana thank a certain someone who has been spending sleepless nights with me talking abt stuff.. Me this owl girl has been thinking way too much and sleeping way too little..

I've lost my direction and I need to find it back.

I'm so lazy to work!

2009-05-13T17:19:00.003+08:00

First things first..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY 17 YEAR OLD MEI!!!!!
Hope all ur many many goals can be accomplished! and dun let anyone else but yourself tell u what u shld do! Jiayou! Jie always support u! ^^

My work leave at Awards Music Studios is coming to an end! And I totally dowan to work.. So lazy right! No money stil dowan to work! Living on my savings and it is almost gone!

Not studying = no pocket money.. even if i go out with frenz and stuff.. Anyways.. I extended my leave for 2 more weeks... Told boss to help me arrange my students before going to work.. Ah wells... gotta work someday right! I wont let my hardworking knight work to death to support me.. Hehe...

Update: I can eat like normal now! Just stil abit numb on some muscles.. Need to get alot of used to biting and tearing food and talking too... I'm training on how to say sloth now! Soon man soon!

Having no aim in life quite shiok.. but then really v waste time la...

Hopefully I'll get sth on my hands that can keep me looking forward to everyday! And my that hope is to wake up to see u beside me every single day.....

Update: 1 month after OP

2009-05-01T20:50:00.005+08:00

Woo~ Hit the one month mark liao! Haha.. 1/3 away to full recovery! Lol..

Yesterday went to the dental... alone.. Haix... hate going places alone.. Need to wait alone.. Time pass sooo slow... Doctor says I'm recovering well.. The exercises have done me well! =DD

Now I must put these weird rubber bands everyday and onli take them off when eating and brushing teeth.. Say dao easy but actually is such a chore! The rubber bands are so tiny! Smaller than 5-cent coin.. And u need to stretch them at specific positions in my back teeth.. So lazy to put them on.. Mayb I put them on at night only or sth.. zzzz They are supposed to hold my back teeth tgt so that they touch each other when i close my mouth.. lol.. though I dun really see how those rubber bands can help alot.. means i cant do my exercises! mayb have to take them out when I doing them? excercises 4 times a day.. brush teeth 2-3 times a day.. Eat 2 meals a day... In between stil muz take out and put back rubber bands? wah seh.. alot of work huh..

Tml going east coast blading with poly peeps!.. and nope! im not blading.. Just go there help take care stuff.. Lol.. bring psp go kill time.. haha.. stil deciding wana go dinner.. kinda broke now that im living on my savings which is going to finish up soon! And they are eating steamboat? Later i go super bo hua.. plus muz see them eat good food... sian... Haha.. But i miss u guys and damn long nv eat with u all le.. HOW HOW!

P.s. Happy Birthday Bings!

2009-04-28T00:33:00.003+08:00

I always have so much thoughts in my head and always itching to voice them out.. But everytime when I'm at the new blog post page I dunno wad to type.. Dunno whr to start..

For starters.. I hate YOU! And thats cause I LOVE you.. Everytime u make me happy AND sad.. excited AND angry... u stick to me like glue and throw me away like a rotten doll.. U say things that hurt me and things that make me cry.. and yet u make me feel safe and blissed.. URGH!

And I shall quote.. "Just /ignore"... I'm doing that to you now.. And when u know u'll do that to me too.. Cold wars all buried in jars in our hearts.. I wonder if one day the coldness numbs everything and we just program ourselves to act a certain way.. I hate it... hate it.

I hate so many habits of yours and u hate so many habits of mine but we dun care as long as we have each other.. and when u think of that all the emo thoughts just go away.. *poof* into thin air.. =p then u snap back to reality and the feeling is just damn freaking sian....

Sometimes I wonder how it feels to be single.. lol! not that i dont have freedom... sometimes just really sian of it.. the thought of that usually lasts abt....2 sec? lol.. Im content but not satisfied... Just have to wait and see bah..

3 weeks 3 days after OP

2009-04-18T10:30:00.003+08:00

Yeah!! 3 week has passed by extremely well! No complications.. No infections.. Everything seems to go smoothly.. though my face is stil like a balloon/pufferfish.

I can open my mouth 2 fingers wide now.. Ermm.. that would mean ur 2 fingers is one on top of the other and not beside each other.. Cos that is only 1 finger wide.. Anyways.. if u dun get it i also wont be surprised.. Haha.. No one really knows wad Im saying most of the times... *faints faints*

I now can not only drink from a cup with less spillage.. I can eat with a spoon!! And I can eat anything that u can smash with ur tougue.. Haha.. like mash potatoes.. cake.. egg yolk.. ice cream.. yogurt.. beancurd.. sweet potatoes.. and any food that goes along that line la huh... This is as close as any solid food already.. YES!

I've got to do jaw exercises 4 to 5 times daily.. So funny.. Other wise my mouth cannot open as wide as before forever! zomg.. Stretch those smiling and yawning muscles everyday 4 to 5 times for 20 minutes.. That shld keep me busy! Haha..

Wonder wats everyone doing these days.. After my birthday I onli talk to a few ppl.. The rest neh? All busy with work ah? Even my gf is busy with work.. How I wish I can recover faster! I feel so much weaker than before.. Nv go out for sooo damn long.. I become as white as ghost and as weak as ??? as weak as what ah? Aiya.. just weak la.. Me wana go out walk walk shop shop. watch movie.. Haha.. Soon bah soon.. thats wad everyone is saying.. Soon i can get to eat the buffet u guys say wana treat or eat tgt.. Whahahaa... Muz build my appetite so I can eat till worth it by then.. Heh Heh... Dear owe me the most foods liao.. Better save up wor! =DD

Just wana say.....

2009-04-13T10:31:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday Aaron!!! I forgot pay phone bill nia.. Cannot send msg to u! Dunno whether u will see this anot la.. Just trying to send out my wishes somehow!!

Lol... Welcome another April Baby to the BIG 2 Family! Haha.. =)

Best Birthday Ever!!

2009-04-12T13:11:00.010+08:00

Omg Omg!!! Cant believe u guys planned all this! Haha... There I was thinking what asses u were forgeting my birthday! Hahaha..!

The night before (10th Apr):
I was telling Dear that I felt moody and that I doubt anyone would remember my birthday.. U know they all got work already.. Seem soo busy and seldom people online these days.. Plus I also cant go out sure no one will ask me out to celebrate and stuff.. Aiya think this year just forget it bah.. We just slack at home like any normal day...

At 11:57 on the phone:
Geoff:
Ehh dear ur phone now what time ah?
ShiR:
Erm.. 11:57
Geoff:
Ok... Anyone talking to u yet?
ShiR:
Till now also no one like come talk to me leh.. Think they really forgot le.. Haix Dear I damn sian le..
Geoff:
Wont la.. Facebook got send reminders de ma... How to forget...
ShiR:
Huh.. but now like almost midnight le... Aiyo.. Onli few ppl online..
Geoff:
Can msg de ma.. No need to be online to wish u birthday
ShiR:
Orh... k lo... Dun care la... tml u come over can le..

12 midnight (11th Apr):
I received Melissa's msg first...

12:03 - MSN:
Juan:
wa.."early" sia..
hiaxyo
haha. so how u spend ur good friday?
ShiR:
nth much
lol
Juan:
haha..facebook got sudoku sia..lolx
u played b4?
ShiR:
isit?
nope
Juan:
lolx. quite fun leh
they got numbers, chinese numerators and sushi...
hahaha
ShiR:
lol i lazy go facebook
too many things le
Juan:
haha..icic. i only play games..
lolx.
ShiR:
haha
i tired le
i go slp first k?
Juan:
okay..
bb..nitex
swt dream..
ShiR: =)

All this time I was talking to dear.. By the time it was already 1 am.. I complained to Dear that Juan kept talking abt facebook stuff.. And u say facebook got send reminders.. She seem to have forgotten leh Dear.. She really forgot.. See I told u... Boo No one remembers.. Till now onli melissa msg me.. 1 msg.. Aiya.. Dun care la.. Anyway I also no mood celebrate.. All these dun really matter right? Haix.. Trying to kid myself.. Friends forgetting my birthday can be quite sad huh!

My sis came in after the phone call to wish me Happy Birthday... Muacks!

11th Apr:
Dear came over at ard 11am-12pm... My mini surprise which he left on my bed when I went to get him a drink.. =DD

We just slacked... Played maple... Play psp.. See facebook.. Watch tv.. Aiya. the usual stuff.. nth much... just really slacking.. Sis got work... Mom teaching.. I really just wanted a normal day... Too moody to celebrate... Its just another day to meet Dear.. And I'm contented enough.. We went down to buy Kodomo toothbrush... Stil no msg.. But towards the afternoon.. I received wishes from Feng Chels and Mun!!! Till the evening that was it..

I was so angry with Juan.. How can u forget! And I really believed u forgot even though I didnt want to... Urgh! I complain to Dear... How can she forget! And she was talking to me on msn last night somemore! Made me even more angry..

Half the day was gone and I was convinced that either everyone was too busy or that no one remembered..

At about 5-6 pm:
Dear asked me to rest after I'm done with whatever I was doing.. And being the good girl I listened to him and rested on my bed with him..
He asked me: Still no one msg u?
I replied annoyingly: Anoh... see the time... wad time liao.. sure is too busy to remember bah... Dun care la.. I tired wana rest..
Dear: Juan leh?
Me: Nth lo... no sign of her.. And the guys.. nt even one of them msg me lor.. Onli the girls msg me.. All ass de..
Dear: Hahaha... So are u sad that no one remembers ur birthday?
Me: No la.... wont be sad la.. Im sure they are too busy or sth... They also know i this state cant go anywhere and celebrate.. I got u beside me now ma.. Enuf le..
Dear: okok... U rest ah.. I go toilet.. Come back must see u rest ah!!!

I covered the blanket all the way to my head... And tried to rest... A minute later I heard a knock on my door...
"???" Why dear must knock on the door de.. He must be trying to be funny.. Dun care him... So i closed my eyes and tried to sleep.. Ehh.. why dear stil haven come yet.. I tot mayb he taking drinks no hands open door? I woke up to check and....

OMG there was everyone and Fu Da holding the lited birthday cake and they all started to sing happy birthday!! I soo wanted to hide back under the blanket but I was so touched I just sat there looking at everyone in my room!! I cant believe what I saw.. Like a dream I just woke up to! Kept wiping my tears...

I stood to blow my candles.. Abit the difficult to blow cos I wasnt sure whether I could do it.. I aim at one candle and blew.. Ok one out and blew the other one.. But then the first one lit up again.. ehh.. So i blew a few times.. Lucky there were onli 2 candles.. Imagine if there were more! haha.. It would be a funny..

So we all went out to eat cake... Delicious STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM CAKE from SWENSEN'S.. TY Juan for buying the cake.. So thoughtful =D

But I couldnt eat the cake!! I waited till it melted and tried to drink it with a spoon... I tasted strawberry.. oooohh the smell so nice... But it was spilling everywhere.. So angry... Everyone tried to think of ways of how I could eat it... Haha.. damn sweet la u all! Now think wana cry alr.. I managed to taste some I v happy le... Cant say enuf thanks man!

Photos:
Wana say thanks to those who came over to surprise me... Really was feeling depressed that day and u guys made it the Best Birthday Ever! *HUGS* And also to Mun, my gf who planned all this when she was so busy with other stuff.. Muacks! Lastly of cos to Juan who initiated this surprise... U of all people! Haha.. Totally nv expect this at all...! XOXO

14th Day (Officially 2 weeks!)

2009-04-08T19:56:00.002+08:00

I finally can talk!!

This morning I went to wash my face and tried to open my mouth as wide as I can... Definitely more than 1cm! So happy.. I tried to say Hello... And it came out Hello!! The feeling was so shiok that I finally am not Little Miss Mute anymore...

Wow.. But erm. When i tried other words it came out all funny.. And can onli speak slowly.. If not it will start to hurt.. Wont wana hurt my brand new tissues.. Lower jaw hurts more now... The numbess all over the upper left side now.. Less numb = More pain..

I went to my sis room and told her I can talk! And she said u can talk? U can talk?! Yay! Yay my ass.. she spent the whole afternoon laughing at the way i talked.. Haix..

My mom didnt even realised that i could talk.. She keep asking me qns like a normal person.. so many qns and answers she didnt even hear.... Wtf man.... that B?*&h.. Anyways.. Nt that it mattered.. I finally can say my piece to her... Just yesterday in the car.. She kept asking me qns and then she said: "why arent u answering mE?" WTH right... lets see.. erm.. because my muscles are weak and my bones are not healed yet and oh! there are RUBBER BANDS holding my teeth tgt... How does that sound speakable to u? She answered her own qns: "Oh ya u cant talk." Oh ya u cant talk u say? oh ya??!?! wow... its been almost 2 weeks now and she didnt realised I couldnt talk.. *faints faints* She is a music teacher who does use her ears... The irony?!

Today she promised me she get porridge for me to eat... For dinner.. And guess what.. She DIDNT get it.. She asked my sis to call me... I was sleeping.. She say i nv pick my phone so dunno whether to get porridge for me to eat. I tell ya she mayb the best teacher.. But she definitely is the worse mother.. Cant believe I said that but its true... U PROMISED to buy for me and now u didnt u blame me for not picking up the phone.. so its my fault that i didnt get to eat porridge.. Its these little things that happen all the time that makes her such a bad parent... Why cant u see! All she thinks abt is herself.. She knows I xin ku but thats it... She thinks she is the one that is xin ku because Im a burden.. So she more xin ku than me.. So she is the one that needs appreciation and care.. Please lor.. this is not the way to earn it.. And when ppl dun give it.. She just brags and brags abt wad she did for ppl that ppl dun see... bla bla bla bla... ok lor... THanks... Happy?

SO many things I could complain abt her.. And I know complaining abt ppl makes u forget abt reflecting on urself... wad u urself did right? Well... I feed myself whenever I can...like times where I dun need to eat medicine.. I clean the house when u guys were away.. Did u know? Did u realise? Noooo.... all she knows was how xin ku she is earning money for this family.. buying food... carrying all the groceries by herself.. her health her mind.. her work.. All abt herself and nth else... Selfish biatch list goes a long way... If i ever grow up to be her I shld commit suicide asap.... zzzzz

Ya i know i'm getting a little far-fetched just because of the porridge but its just one example out of the 100 things she does to irritate me in a day... URGH... her logic and thinking is way out of my league man.. I dunno how I managed to tahan her for 19 yrs...

Anyways.. Grats to me I can talk...Finally... And i can drink from a cup!! Just that I tend to spill it all over my shirt cos I cant really tell how fast to drink.. Haix.. Like a baby learning how to talk and eat... ohh mee-annN!

13th Day

2009-04-07T19:15:00.003+08:00

Today is the 13th Day after Op...

The best day of my life ever since...

Not because my poly friends are in Genting having fun... I really miss u guys already! Esp my gf... Less 2 days of ur support lo... Haix...

But other than that... I got my rubber bands off today!!!

Finally can breathe thru my mouth.. Haha.. The doctor says....

Can eat soft foods.. But onli foods that just need to swallow.. Like porridge, and erm.. other flavours of porridge..
The swelling would take abt 3 months to fully go away
Dun strain ur jaw muscles
Brush more
EAT MORE!!!!!!

I've learnt other skills too! Like sucking through a straw and drinking soup with a spoon... Hhahaha.. I feel pro already.. Except that the debris gets stuck to my braces and I cant feel that food is flowing out of my mouth as well.. Haha.. like baby.. need to wear a bip.. Finally a change and the healing process has begun.. Slow and steady... living by the day..

After dental I went to eat lunch with Dear's family. Crystal Jade Kitchen. The smell... OMG... Even without the rubber bands.. I could onli open my mouth like 1cm so far.. My jaw muscles stil weak.. Need to train them...

Ordered 皮蛋粥 (Century Egg Porridge).. My favourite.. Yummy... I smashed the yolk until super smashed then I mix with the porridge and slurp it down. My first time eating with a spoon.. SHIOK

Walked alot today too.. Suntec walk walk le then went to Queenway and IMM see and shop for stuff.. Out for more than 2 hours! About 6 to 7 hours. Took short naps in the car.. Haha.. Now finally I'm home.... zzzzz But it was good... At least I know I'm well and alive!

12th Day

2009-04-06T13:03:00.005+08:00

Gonna hit 2 weeks soon.. =) Kinda happy cos these 2 weeks seem to passby quite smoothly.. Doctors said the 1st week is usually the most rough week. The pain and the drugs and liquid food.

But now I'm alright. Not fit as a bull.. But just fine. Dear's my bull anyway... He kept me strong even when we're all busy with work and our grandparents' wake and all sorts of stuff flying in. I have no idea how we got through all that but we did anyway... *phew* Finally we can both can take a breather..

Finally I finished my antibiotics.. wooHoo! I've stopped taking the painkillers as well.. Now left the numbness...which is a good thing... I dun wana feel everything so fast when its nt healed yet.. Haha

Poly Peeps going Genting this Tues. U guys good huh cos none of u all told me. Ya la.. I know i cant go anyways... But... wah lau... Knowing sth u didnt know sux leh! Haha..
Just wana say go have fun guys!! Take lots of pictures!!!! Bring them back let me see! Haha... Sian lor have to stay home. Hopefully next time got chance we can organise another one and we all go tgt again!

1 week 3 days (10th Day)

2009-04-03T18:34:00.005+08:00

I've been dreaming about food all week.. OMG going to die soon.. Had checkup 2 days ago and the doctors said I've grown thin... Another OMG...

How how... Im gonna disappear into thin air like what khai tuck says.. Haha.. Nooooooooo... Muz eat.. no muz drink more milk..

Things I have been taking, (other than antibiotics n painkillers) haha.. :

Ensure's brand of milk - Strawberry, Chocolate, Vanilla (Ranked according to preference)
Soya Bean Milk
Yogurt Milk Drink
Other brands of milk (Starting to get sick of the Ensure thingy)
Water of cos, lots of it

Others include half a can of kickapoo, which tasted good but hard to drink with a syringe.

Can take anything that u guys can drink with a straw. So drinks that I wana drink would include:

Bubble tea! haha.. but cant chew pearl la of cos..
Chin Chow
Teh Bing

Haix.. I wana chew food man.. I've been dreaming of fries, chee cheong fun and beef noodle.. zomg.. I can onli chew in my dreams.. Haha.. I'm content enough alr.. At least I get to chew! haha...

Apart from food I stay at home all day doing nth but watch tv, surf internet, play games, psp, drink like every hour, so that means toilet every 2 hours, play piano, listen music. And u know what.. This is my kinda life......................

I no str to go out anyways... 2 hours tops and im tired like hell.. zzzzz... Sleep for 12 hours a day... Haha.. my new life for the next few months... =)

Anyway.. since I have so much time.. I shld blog more often now right? lol

Bad month....

2009-03-31T14:50:00.003+08:00

My ah ma just passed away yesterday morning at 9am. I cant go to her funeral because my body not strong enough. So sudden. No warning.

My mom cried alot. She now no mood to work or do anything. Haix I also dunno how to console her. Everyone's so busy because of me. And now this happens. The atmosphere around the house is sooo stale. Cant believe she just gone like that. My mom says my ah ma has gone cos she has seen her whole family le.. My auntie from america flew by just last week to see her. And a few days later she just left. Dunno how she knows when she is soo senile. But nonetheless at least there was no regret that we didnt say goodbye.

Dear's ah gong is barely hanging there as well. Unknown of his own liver cancer, he stil thinks its liver infection. But doctors say he cannot make it already, anytime le. Haix... Why so many things are happening at this time. Bad things happen so fast and good things happen so slow.

Everyone's so busy with stuff and yet i can do nth to help.

Urgh pek chek.

Day 5 after Op. Day 2 of Incubation.

2009-03-30T13:57:00.005+08:00

Sorry havent been updating. Been resting at home for the past 2 days but didnt have enuf energy to blog.

So I did my OP on wed and woke up sometime in thurs. I dun reali remember.. I only remember the pain and agony of post-OP. I regretted it. ZOMG the pain and suffering. WHY THE HELL DID I EVEN THOUGHT OF DOING THIS?!?!?!!

I tried to think of Dear, Family and of cos my friends and buddies who were so excited for me. Told me to Jiayou and be strong.. =D I'm glad the worst is over now.

Day 2: When I woke up..
All i knew was i couldnt open my mouth. I went in and out like a dream cos of the GA. I tried to scream. Luckily my voice was stil there. Everytime i woke up i would shout with all my might. I dont know if it was loud or soft i just screamed my lungs out till someone could hear me. So scared..

Lucky there was this nurse on standby that held my hand everytime i shouted. She calmed me down and kept telling me that the OP was over. Everything was ok. The experience was like shit man.

After several rounds of whatever that was.. I was finally wheeled out towards the High-dependancy ward for hourly observation. I remember seeing dear sis and mom blurly. Tried to fight the damn GA but i just kept going back to sleep. I couldnt open my eyes but i could hear everything.. I wanted to say sth. But i realised my mouth was shut tight. "I'm gonna be a mute for quite awhile from now on" I thought. zzzzz

So i cant open my eyes, but i can hear, I cant speak, but i can feel ma right? i tried to stretch out to reach someone. Dunno why i just needed to keep holding on to something. Made me feel safer. That night was the worse night of my life. There was 2 lattern-looking things sticking out of my mouth to drain the blood out so I wouldnt swell soo much. I had to put on a oxygen-inhaler and 2 bags of blood transfusion before I had my haemoglobin count back up again.

Sleep was the best way to run from it all. But the nurses had to come in hourly to check blood pressure and stuff. Anyway no matter how xin ku I also muz tahan. There are so many patients having worse trouble than me, more serous incurable diseases, etc. But my OP is just a small fry among all those sickly patients. I stil young ma right... I will recover fast. No one wants to suffer.. but when u do.. u realised how shit it is.

When u cant talk, u tend to think more.

GA made me nausea and i puked a few times. OMG that feeling was so gross. Like having gastric and u wana puke but the waves of the puke feeling is like X10! The worse part - I cant puke out cos my mouth was shut. So how? The puke had to come out somehow ma right. And that was thru the sides of my mouth.. Merlion with 2 spouts instead of 1. Gushing out blood and saliva all over the place. The nausea drug didnt even work, and everytime i was given antibiotics i felt like puking. ZOMG glad that was over.

So the next day I had to take Xray and stuff to show my jaw placement and see if the plates were intact and not infected. 8 plates, 4 screws each (32 in total). 4 in the upper, 2 in the lower and 2 for the chin. Amazing how they fit so many in my small mouth. Anwyay the doctor helped me take out the two lattern-thingy that was attached to my jaw.

Finally some freedom huh. But the swelling will be more now.

Day 3: Alot ppl visiting... Day 4 I was discharged le..
Thanks to those who visit me ah.. No need to say Dear and family,
Frenz:
Juan my bffl
Mun my gf
Alvin, Khai Tuck, Raven, Qilu, Chels, Feng, Bings, Aaron, Justin.

So happy to see u guys!! Paiseh u all had to wait for last minute instructions cos i had fever and could nt be discharged earlier. Damn sianx..

kk Photos!
Before:

After:
(Top) This one taken at hospital, cant reali see the swelling.

(Top) This one taken recently, can see the swelling at the cheeks there right? So puffy like balloon.. Zomg..

4 Days to Go

2009-03-21T21:05:00.001+08:00

Everyday alot of things go thru our minds.

People, food, tv, facebook, sleep, etc, etc, etc,

We do the things we like to do, enjoy the moment, ignore the dislikes like nagging, working, schooling.

Maybe this surgery is what I need. MAJOR CHANGE.

I've been thinking abt it everyday ever since I've been counting down on my msn.

Now like numb already.

Just do it la huh.. So irritating when sth is on ur mind everyday for so long. You just want it to go away in the least painful way. Like magic would be best. *POOF* and its gone!

Anyways I getting exciting now bcos I'm reali tired of being scared of this OP. Aiya. my first time staying in hospital, first time having major surgery, first time experiencing such pain, first time being a mute for a month plus. Alot of first times here.

I'm stronger than I hope I'll be la huh. Cant stand myself for so weak sometimes. I cant always rely on u to protect me. But I stil wish u'll protect forever. <333

Ok enuf abt me.

Everyone seems to be getting work! And applying for Uni. Guys going to army soon. Sobs sobs. Here's wishing u ppl luck in finding sth that u like to do!

Work not because of money and Study not because u dont wana work!

I'm neither working nor studying anytime soon, so pls feel free to ask me out if u wana destress k! haha.. Always available for u guys! =D. K la dun jealous!! LOL

Last note:
If u ever thought what it would be like to take a different path, dont. As long as u dont regret the path that u have taken, all is worthwhile.

6 More Days~

2009-03-19T20:51:00.002+08:00

Today I went for my final dental appointment before Op.

Hmm.. Looks like there's alot going on for my face man. Craziness.. Up jaw cut, lower jaw cut, chin cut.

They say I would look horrible after the op. LOL Dear pls take lots of pics of my disaster face because I dont think I wont be well enuf to laugh at myself. TY! lol.. Bruises on the cheeks, Tubes out of my jaw bone to suck out excess blood to reduce puffiness. Lots and lots of others la..

Pls I just wana get over and done with..

Here's to those who showed concern and support over the last past week.. Thanks alot!! =) XOXO

For closer frenz, my dear will message u the details of my ward & bed no. =D See u guys soon! Rmb to bring paper pen boards, cards, so I dun have to be a clown to talk to u guys.. Haha!

Emo days

2009-03-09T13:41:00.004+08:00

Cant seem to sleep properly for the last few days..

Alot of things on my mind..

1st on list is my operation.. More scared than excited.. Though most of my frenz are more excited than scared for me.. haha!

Anyways.. Feeling down for awhile now.. Not sure why.. I'll blame on the hormones! And the weather.. Rainy and Sunny and Rainy.. Zzzzz

Today got class chalet and I dun reali feel like going... Go le also dont know how to have Fun.. In this state I am in v hard to enjoy..

Dont feel like talking to dearie.. Its not him thats making me feel down either...

Just sth in my heart that doesnt seem right.. But I stil dunno what that is..

OMG why am I so EMO!!!!

GO AWAY!!

I need to:

Be content
Be strong and brave
Be more mature
Resist temptation
Believe in us

~16 more days~

Two S's : Stress and Sick

2009-02-17T00:28:00.004+08:00

Stress becos sick? or Sick bcos of stress I also dunno...

Only know I am both stress AND sick..

I also dunno why i'm stress.. Abt studies esp.. I normally just wouldnt care cos no matter how lazy I am I know somehow I'll make it.. But this sem I failed 2 gentech papers! I dunno isit bcos of that I'm becoming to get stressed. Sometimes I plan to fail but not this time... Gentech totally sux man! Stress-causing module.

Anyway v long nv update le.. Just felt like updating cos didnt feel like studying anymore.
Tml bioprocess paper! Jiayou all!

People are Selfish by Nature ...

I think its only natural to be selfish sometimes.
Like when needed. Though i cant think of any good reason right now.
The "kiasu" attitude of typical Singaporeans.
Sometimes I think it can be quite irritating when people are not mindful.
For some, selfishness is like part of their life.
Like the money-minded biatch in the house.

Most ppl think of themselves first. Like what they want others to know what they are thinking, what they are feeling, what ideas they have, etc

As what they say, humans were given 2 eyes to see, 1 mouth to talk and 2 ears to listen.
Why aren't people using their ears more when they have 2 of them?
Why do some talk and talk and talk and talk nonstop!

I've been trying so hard to LISTEN but if this is gonna be a one-way thing, it's going no where.

Finally a Breather!

2009-01-10T21:07:00.004+08:00

Yeah!! FYP REPORT DONE & PRINTED!

Now left presentation, assignments, Another round of hectic school life!
oHhhhhhhH - Mee-aaaaaAN!

Cant believe this new year.. Had to go school on new year's eve..
And now CNY is just around the corner and we stil have to spare time to do work and study for exams!! Its nv gonna end till we graduate ppl!.. Only then can we reali take a breather!

At least for now, after FYP report is done.. It seems like a year's work is finally done. *PHEW!*

Totally broke down on Thurs.. Now i think so stupid.. Haha.. Everytime regret why I cry and yet stil cry so many times.. zzZz.. Thx Mun for coming to the toilet at such "GREAT TIMING" to console me.. Haha.. And also to Dear for being understand and telling me that I shld not rush my FYP and then later anyhow do just so that I can meet him earlier.. Though never meet for so long le, I shld not sacrifice my FYP. Ah wells.. Now that its over, I hope we have done enough.. FOCUS on presentation!

[New year new stuff!!]
Thanks to mei for winning me a new N79 and Dearie Yammy for my new wallet (u're the one who spoilt it anyway..lol!), Got a few tops, no bottoms.. YET! My dad's gonna buy me a laptop too!! Wee~ =D Not that I need it but he says he wants to buy one for me so I said ok lor! Better to have more things of ur own! Especially when u're living in a house like mine.. Just be glad that i'm not paying any rent.

Photos!!

2009-01-07T20:46:00.003+08:00

Here are some photos from Christmas Day!! Sorry took so long to post.. LOL..=)

25th Dec 2008: Happy Anniversary Dear ...

Pretty Lilies!

24th Dec 2008: With Juan at VivoCity ...

No TIme!

2009-01-01T13:35:00.007+08:00

Sorry all, no time to blog...

Reports and reports, FYP, data sheets, presentations

Christmas
New Year
Anniversary Photos

All will be posted when I have extra time on my hands! They are on the way!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR to ALL!! Hope all of u guys' resolutions will come true! =)

2008-12-04T19:57:00.004+08:00

~!!21 MORE DAYS TO GO!!~

Kinda stressed cos I havent got anything for you yet

Is there really a meaning
When u're there and when u're not
When I call u and when u dont
I wish time would pass by faster
I wana know the ending
Blurred

10 Weird Things

2008-11-27T23:23:00.008+08:00

Tagged by Ros,
10 Weird Things / Habits / Things people dont know about me:

(why repeat the word things ah?)
Anyway,
1. Every morning before going to school I sleep while showering
2. I cant sleep without my blanket and a pillow to hug
3. I played the piano for 7 hours straight once! lol I stopped cos i wanted to watch TV haha
4. My left foot is flat footed.
5. My dream is to be housewife and take care of lao gong (Hubby)
6. I cry when I'm really sad, angry, pissed, happy, in pain, lonely ... ...
7. My left hand is bigger that my right.
8. I like French Fries with Ice Cream!
9. I tend to see people's shoes first.
10. I study best when listening to music & lying on the bed.

The People who I will throw this to do:
Juan
Mei
Hannah
erm.. No more pple to tag.. Lol!

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

2008-11-21T22:27:00.003+08:00

Just got this email from Juan.. and thought it was really cute!! Haha.. And it's like a response to the "61 things abt guys" post.. LOL.. ENJOY......

(1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F**K YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?'
For the woman's response refer to #3.

Hmm.. guys can learn from this post.. But i'll doubt they will remember much after reading it..!

1111

2008-11-11T23:11:00.002+08:00

I always tell pple when u see 11-11 like on ur watch/handphone/clock as 11:11 or other places, it means someone is missing u.. Lol.. Dunno if its true but it makes u think of the pple that might really be thinking of u at that time.. Hee =)

But I've read somewhere that if u see 11-11 u shld make a wish and it might come true!!

Anyway.. Today is the 11th of Nov - 11/11/08 so i decided to do some research on this superstition of the mystical 11-11.

11:11 (numerology)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Numerologists believe that events linked to the time 11:11 appear more often than chance or coincidence.
This belief is related to the concept of synchronicity.
Other authors believe it is an auspicious sign, and others that it signals a spirit presence.

Although not an originator of the concept, Uri Geller has spoken repeatedly about 11:11, and the belief that it has mystical powers has also been adopted by many believers in New Age However, some skeptics say that Geller's examples of 11:11 phenomenon in world events are examples of post-hoc reasoning and confirmation bias. philosophies.

Some other interesting facts:

November 11 is the 315th day of the year (316th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 50 days remaining until the end of the year.
Twins Day (1987) in Taiwan: a festival for biological twins and other multiples. The eleventh day of the eleventh month (11-11) consists of the same numeral in pairs and symbolizes their characteristics.
Poland - Independence Day (1918)

Basically i think 11-11 doesn't really have any meaning to it.. Its just a number that alot of pple tend to see in their daily lives.. lol.. And some, well actually alot of ppl have studied its significance.. lol.. dunno wad they thinking..

Oh well.. I stil would like to believe that someone is thinking of you at that moment.. Makes one think and realise how blessed u are that you have someone that misses you.. =)

Why is everything making me pissed?

2008-11-09T17:38:00.005+08:00

Haixyo.. These few days everything like making me angry.. Is it me? or them?

The first thing that made me angry is a person.. Dowan say who but some of you already know who lar.. Anyway though i'm reali pissed at you and also quite sad lar.. But in my heart I already 算了. Cos like I angry also NO USE!!

Anyway the 2nd thing that made me pissed this week is that someone in the music school i'm teaching at is "stealing" my songs!!!!!! Urgh.. By "stealing" I mean that person actually went to learn all the songs that I am learning!
He/She must have heard the songs I was practicing every Sat on the Piano and in a few weeks I hear him/her playing the exact songs!! Angry! Go find ur own songs la COPY CAT!!
Angry cos I know I'm not good enuf and when I hear someone learning the same song I will have this urge to make sure I'm better but at the same time I know that I only can improve when I'm enjoying playing the piano and not when I push myself just to be better than someone else.. CHIM huh!? lol..

Another thing that made me angry is Dear... Everyweek we meet like once maximum? Damn xin ku can.. And we seldom talk on phone and message each other liao.. I know la.. Our relationship quite steady but hor.. Sometimes reali too steady liao.. Buay tahan.. Too steady = Boring??? I know u got exams and we both final year liao very hard to cope plus I got to work.. Xin ku also bo bian.. No chance to meet really just have to 忍耐. This kinda feeling suX!!! Just have to dong one more sem.. Hopefully can see u more often liao!

And lastly my Mom.. she is always pissing me off and my sis.. Too many stuff to mention that she did to make me angry! Every month she would ask the same qns:
"How much are u earning ah?"
If she really meant well she would have asked:
"Are you earning enough?"
Sometimes I have to force myself to think she meant well but it all comes to nothing.

Because.... She expects me to pay my own phone bills, school expenses and other daily stuff including contact lens bla bla.. Basically I work for my own survival..
I also dowan to take money from her.. Who doesnt hate to take money from their parents right? Anyway she also dont want me to take money from her why shld I say that I dont have enuf money? And so whats the point of her asking?
I mean in the end she would end up nagging say I shld be more thrifty and not always taking money from her... ZzzzZ...
And so I say: "I am earning enough, thanks"
And so she expects me to pay for everything.
Wow.. THanks aH!
&#$?!*&@?&*@#$!&%

Looking on the BRIGHT side...
Helped my Sis pick out clothes and accessories for her prom on the 13th Nov.. LOL!! So fun shopping when u have an aim! Like going on a shopping mission....

Velvet 'V' black dress with diamond studs and lacy bottom, Matching set of earrings, necklace, bracelet and ring all bling bling de.. Cos must be Glam ma!! Gliterry gold-coloured clutch and pale gold coloured heels with 1 diamond stud to match the clutch.. Wah.. Pretty!!

Honoured that she asked me to do her Hair, Nails and Make-up!! Haha! Although stil dunno how to set up her hair.. Curly or straight? Tied or let down? Anyway I would have offered to do them cos go out do expensive leh!! Must 为钱着想.. Haha..

Kk.. Must get back to reports and assignments! zZzZ

2008-11-07T14:07:00.000+08:00

What Your Cute Monster Says About You

You are a giving, open, loving person. You truly want the world to be a better place.

You appreciate what you have in life. You are very content.

Your inner demon is sensitivity. You are very sensitive, and your sensitivity can be a double edged sword.

People think you're cute because you're generous. You are easy to love - it's part of your charm.

The Cute Monster Test

61 things most girls dont know

2008-11-04T23:25:00.005+08:00

1.Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!
(oh yeah..you’re not “popular” if you’ve slept with more than 6 guys..you’re a xhore!)

2.”Hey, are you busy?” or “Are you doing something?” ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3.Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4.Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they’re gonna say so there aren’t awkward pauses, but once he’s on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5.Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.

6.Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

7.Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they’re goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

8.A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

9.Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.

10.Don’t talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

11.Guys get jealous easily.

12.Guys are more emotional than they’d like people to think.

13.Giving a guy a hanging message like “You know what?!..uh…nevermind..” would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he’ll assume he did something wrong and he’ll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

14.Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

15.Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.

16.Girls are guys’ weaknesses.

17.Guys are very open about themselves.

18.It’s good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don’t let him wait too long.

19.Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

20.If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.

21.A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

22.Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

23.Guys will brag about anything.

24.Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful.If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

25.No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

26.Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

27.Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

28.Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn’t notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

29.Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy’s confused, then we’re all confused.

30.Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

31.Try to be as straightforward as possible.

32.If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

33.If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he’s probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

34.When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

35.When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, “Please come and listen to me.”

36.Guys don’t really have final decisions.

37.If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn’t happen that often, so when it does, you know something’s up.

38.If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you’re with your boyfriend, he’s probably jealous and likes you.

39.When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don’t say you aren’t. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don’t want you to disagree with them.

40.When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he’s definitely thinking something.

41.Guys like femininity not feebleness.

42.Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.

43.A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

44.Don’t be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

45.Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

46.Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

47.Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

48.If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don’t say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren’t interested in a relationship and they will respect you.

49.Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

50.A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl’s mind for a day.

51.No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He’s just too stubborn to admit it.

52.Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn't mean he represents ALL of us.

53.We don’t like girls who are too skinny.

54.We love it when girls talk about their boobs.

55.Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy …like whether it’s a one time deal or not ….

56.Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unnoticeable tell them about yours…

57.When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually

58.Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs..

59.Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts…

60.Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn’t intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that…after you let him know a couple times.

61.When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

Recipe of Chocolate / Oreo Chesecake

2008-10-21T21:21:00.006+08:00

This is a Non-Bake Cheesecake Recipe so u dont have to bake it in the oven!!

Upon many requests, I have decided to post my recipe here:

Ingredients and Steps: (or in Bio we say Materials and Methods... LOL)
For the Crust:
1. Biscuits of your choice
(I use digestive biscuits. You can try out others like soda biscuits, those plain non-flavour type of biscuits.)
--> Crush them into bits and pieces in a small bag or in a bowl (small bag is easier)
How much to crush depends on your tin and how high u want it to be.

2. Butter
--> Has to be melted. Add to your bowl of crushed biscuits and mix until they become meshy and soft. I used 1/3 block of butter to 10 digestive biscuits.

3. Sugar
--> Add 1 and 1/2 table spoon of sugar to the mixture (If u are using 10 digestive biscuits).

4 Vanilla Essence
--> Add 1 table spoon to mixture and stir well.

Once u have mixed the 4 ingredients together, get a baking tin and place a layer of baking paper! This is so that the cake dun get stuck onto the tin.

Press down the mixture. (Important) Make it higher at the sides so its can hold the filling better. Put the whole tin into the freezer while u prepare the filling!

For the Filing:
1. Cream Cheese
--> Singapore only sells the Philadelphia brand so i used that.

2. Condense Milk
--> Add 1/3 can of condense milk (380g) to 1 tub of cream cheese (250g). Mix.
(I used 2 tubs of creamcheese)

3. Oreo / Chocolate Chip cookies
--> Crush any kind of chocolate cookies or oreo cookies in a bag or bowl. Amount to add is at your own preference. (I added 5-6 cookies; not to much so u wont cover the cheesecake flavour)

4. Vanilla Essence
--> Just 3 drops will do!

Take out ur crust from freezer and pour ur oreo / chocolate chesecake mixture into the tin. Spread it out of course and place it in the freezer!!

It takes really fast to set- in 2-3 hours can eat already!

It doesnt matter if u leave it in the freezer overnight, however if u want to serve or eat it please place the cake in the fridge for awhile.. cos u wont want to eat frozen cheesecake! lol..

Any questions pls tag!! Thx.

P.s. This is the recipe for which I think is the best in terms of ingredient amount to add.

Happy Birthday Dear!!

2008-10-21T17:51:00.003+08:00

Yay.. Today is Dear's bday... But sadly I cant celebrate dearie's birthday today cos school end late and he muz study so we decided to celebrate it on.... last SUN!

Lol... Yep so actually we already celebrated la.. On an earlier day.. kk feel naggy repeating that.. So anyway nth much la.. Just go his house with my handmade chocolate cheesecake. (Not the oreo one but recipe abt the same la for those who tried it.. haha!!) The crust I made it softer this time (khai tuck said too hard) and i used more cream cheese (khai tuck also said too little cream cheese) lol...

We also got new couple watch cos the old one spoil liao.. Haha.. Our celebration veri simple hor.. Not much things going on de.. But ok la.. no money splurge on good food and fancy gifts.. As long we are happy.. anything goes.. =)

Happy 23rd birthday dear!!

NEOPRINT DAY!

2008-09-27T01:04:00.006+08:00

=) Princess (=

Went out with Juan today!! lol... Its been so long since we met.. haha.. I got exam she got project.. Final year already.. Sch work is neverrr ending!!

We dunno whr to go that day so we just decided to go Orchard walk and walk.... We walk from orchard to Cine to eat Subway cos we damn long nv eat subway alr... Then we went to take neoprints!!

After that we just talk and talk about alot of stuff.. Too much to catch up alr.. haha.. Duno wad to do so we just walked and see stuff talk stuff.. Thought of going to visit Khai Tuck at work cos he shld be working that night.... Msg him but no reply and i forgot whr was his work place.. haha.. So while waiting for his reply we went to raffles place, near fullerton there walk... Heard the damn noisy F1 cars but couldnt see anything!! So noisy and bright lights were everywhere..

Walked until legs so tired.. Anyway that day was just practice round so also nth much to see la...
(Need console self..lol)

Finally kt replied~! Parkmall Dome la... Stupid me.. forgot whr! So we made our way there.. But he already finished work.. ZZzzZ..

Juan muz jiayou jiayou for ur competition and final year projects ok!!! Hope u win!! Win le muz treat me lunch!! hehe

Emily Bear playing Solfeggietto.. Pro!!

2008-08-10T00:27:00.006+08:00

Emily Bear is onli 6 yrs old!! And she can play C.P.E.

Bach's Solfeggietto at such a speed!

A child prodigy who can not onli play pro but can also

compose!!

6 more months and counting....

2008-07-28T22:32:00.003+08:00

=) Princess (=

Counting to wad? Feb 25th.. the date tentatively set for my jaw op..

Nope.. this is not a joke..

I think that week is exam week i not veri sure.. but it is possible to postpone it..

MAJOR op... anyway basically its just a fairly common op done by many pple to cut the jaw and push it back in.. So i can talk properly.. Not that i dont.. i have lived all my life with this stupid jaw.. Mayb when it is in the right position i would be talking NOT properly! lol..

So the surgeon says it takes about 6 weeks for the bone to recover and heal back.. They will put like metal screws inside to hold the bones together and wires to tie up my lower and upper jaw together so that i doesnt like drop off when i talk? haha.. i know it sound funny.. I dunno how to really explain lar... so basically my jaw would be clenched and I cant talk... NOR EAT!!! The doctor says i have to be fed with a syringe.. Liquid food for 2 months plus!! Suck and push the damn syringe into the side of my mouth for breakfast, for lunch, for dinner... MY GAWD!

Yep.. apparently i have to donate blood for myself for the op as well but i'm below 45KG so i'm not heavy enuf to do so.. I can try to put on 2KG till the op.. Have to be physically and mentally fit.. Definitely lose weight with all the liquid diet..

ALL FOR THE SAKE OF BEAUTY.. I'm so scared of pain.. I dont even dare to think of the things i have to go through.. Cant talk!! Cant eat proper food.. I cant believe i'm actually going to go thru with this.. Just cant believe it..

Imagine pple actually go for plastic surgery.. i think they are reali veri brave.. To be able to willingly sacrifice just to be prettier.. And i'm like already so scared when this is just corrective surgery.. zzZZ.. hopefully they'll give me a strong dose of pain killers and of cos.. lots of "sleeping pills" from dear.. HEHE..

At least i know all this will be over in the near future and ppl wont laugh at me when i cant say "SLOTH"!! haha.. U guys are such asses.. haha..

Kena Complain at Work!

2008-07-20T22:39:00.002+08:00

=) Princess (=

The pain of work.. doesnt matter wad kind.. as long as you are working for someone.. u will sure kena sucky things...

Yep.. i did... and on my 1st week of the job.. shall not curse online so shall keep it clean..

Anyway.. some of you already know the story..

For those of u who doesnt I shall retell the story here:

As a not so experienced teacher, I can onli teach beginner students... Most students I teach are small kids, and they are definitely harder to teach then school kids.. (small kids as in 3-6 years old). So this new student i have that i teach on Sundays is 4 years old, has never been exposed to any kinda musical knowledge whatsoever.

His lesson starts at 9 (my first lesson) and I came 5 mins earlier.. However, the person-in-charge was sick and she came half an hour late... Cant blame her ma.. anyway.. I was given no materials and a student who has never had any musical exposure. I was quite lost and unprepared. Worse still.. as a 4 yr old boy, he kept crying and holding on to his mommy..

I tried to communicate with this flustered boy who paid no attention to me... The mother tried to coax him by siting in the lesson together. Finally he sat down on the chair and stopped crying. Without any materials I just had to come up with something right?! I taught him the simple 5-finger position on the piano.. he just didnt want to cooperate... All the time he just wanted his mother to hold his hand while he learns... Either he is shy or scared... Which i dun blame him.. he is just a child ma.. But how can i teach if he doesnt wana learn?!?!

Anyway this goes on for 20 minutes while i tried different ways to make him listen to me.. He kept crying and wanting his mother.. I GIVE UP! seriously this is going no where.. Heng onli half hour lesson... Veri soon it was over..

But guess wad.. The next week... i got a complain from the parent.. Boss told me that the parent complained about my non-pro-active teaching and that she had to prompt me several times how to teach her son... ehh your son dun wana learn.. keep holding on to you plus wadever i say he also dowan listen.. I not pro active? Your son is the problem not me can... I tried to keep my cool.. Parents are always right (just like customers are always right).. they are the money-payers.. we cant say they are wrong.. So i just explained to my boss the situation.. i had no materials blabla bla.. Anyway i kena complain means no good for the school already.. i just had to accept the fact that ya.. it is my fault..

For those who know the story already... this is the follow up:

The weeks after that week i kena complain... i've learnt that this student likes colouring.. He was more open to me after i said i will reward him with lolipop.. ya.. but that was all he wanted.. zz.. i told him if he did wad i taught him he would be rewarded.. but he didnt wana do wad he was told and kept hugging his mommy... Anyway it was an improvement cos he did learn the notes from C to B.. Anyway boss told me that i had to add time to her lesson cos the last week lesson started late..

Today was his third lesson and I asked the mother about the time adding.. cos seriously half an hour was too much for the boy to take and I cant add time as promised. I also apologized about the first week explaining that the late coming of the person-in-charge plus my unpreparedness of what to do in situations like this. I did that firstly was to clear any misunderstandings between us as well as to ask wad actually was she unhappy about with me.. I didnt ask directly though...

Anyway she told me that she complain to the school cos she felt that it was unfair to me if she had come directly to me.. She didnt reali say anything abt my teaching.. mayb she didnt wana make things worse.. or that there was improvement in the lesson between me and her son therefore she didnt wana bring up old events. Either way at least I cleared things up better with the parent.. hopefully the parent gives positive feedback this time round cos my boss keeps reminding me that i shld be more interactive bla bla bla... zzzZzz

Work sux... but wad to do when parents dont give u money..

Taking One Step Back

2008-07-07T22:18:00.003+08:00

=)Princess(=

I see my life as a mess

Dunno how u guys see it though

Am I......

Too Naive?

Too lazy?

Too skinny?

Fake?

Not wad u think when u reali get to know me?

Just a friend?

A closer friend maybe?

Emo?

Doesnt reali matter though... cos i know i'm in a mess and i'm not happy..

Sometimes i go to school and pretend to be happy although i'm not..

School life is suppose to fun..

Why shld I let my bad mood affect those around me..

A good fren would know when something is wrong even when i fake it right?

I'm so busy with school work and real work..

So not used to these kinda hectic lifestyle..

Help!

No one can help me also.. In the end.. when u sit for a test or find a job or when problem arises, its all up to yourself.. U can only ask for advice and support..

P.S. Juan if u are reading this.. I'm so sorry we haven talked for so long!!!!!!! So busy to call.. Haix.. Dunno when can meet up.. boo.. sads!

UPDATE on LIFE...it sux but somethings are just perfect

2008-06-30T22:48:00.003+08:00

=)Princess(=

Got back Immuno, half of GLMP and molmod results.. onli molmod pass the rest fail..

zzZZzZZz

So totally not proud of myself neither am I too bothered by the fact that i might fail the 40% weightage test.. What can i do.. fail jiu fail le

Conclusion: I'm dumb and mayb i didnt study enuf.. but i managed to study everything given the damn short time frame.. No excuses for failing.. I didnt try hard enuf and I just soooo damn love mst... all i can say is thx to mst... thx!

Dear scolded me so badly.. I dun wana talk to him at all..

I need encouragement not lecture.. If i need lecture I would go talk to my mom.. but i guess 打是疼骂是爱 What can I say to that.. haix..

Yes! I am now officially working in Award Music Studios at Katong.. Some small music school la.. Cos they offer more flexibility for working time and their contract is 1 year... Cristofori give me 1 and a half year which is too long cos it starts from Sept. Dowan to work so long after i graduate.. So i take the short term contract.. Got money liao! hopefull they give me enuf students to cover my life expenses...

Working on both Sat and Sun but i scared i gt no time to study... Sun half day the other half day rest.. Studying no choice gotta study after school time lor..

Reports!

FYP!

Help!

I dun wana fail any module..

I just wana graduate fast fast!

2nd entry for today..zZz

2008-06-18T01:00:00.002+08:00

=)Princess(=

Damn sianx

dont feel like studying

Everytime when i'm bored and lazy yet i feel like doing sth.. i always think of what people are doing right now at this moment..

The first person i wud think of is dear.. but i already know wat he's doing most of the time.. and now.. he is sleeping.. lol.. poor thing.. did training non stop today.. wah.. imagine my dear in no.4 carrying weapons.. SHUAI!

Imagine that i had invisibility and teleportation power.. can like go spy on pple..wahaha..!

Went to eat japanese buffet family the other day.. ate like 3 plates of salmon sashimi, 4 plates of sushi, 1 and a half chiwanmushi, some fried potato thingy, tuna sashimi, watermelon juice and green tea (free flow), ehh.. and among other stuff too.. damn full.. lol.. then bought eyeliner pencil and eyeshadow from dodo club.. lol..

ah.. shld get back to studying..

zZz

No motivation..zZz

2008-06-17T15:38:00.002+08:00

=)Princess(=

I have totally uberly no motivation to study at all.. i've been reading Immunology textbook like its some magazine.. reading and understanding but not recorded in my memory space in my brain... Knowing i got alot to study and yet i just sit and force myself to read and read.. hopefully that helps somehow.. like being able to remember everything subconciously.. lol

Been really pissed with my mom.. as usual.. She treats me like a kid.. I'm forever a kid to her i guess.. Keeps telling me to find a job and yet she acts so concerned about me having no money.. she just doesnt wants to give me anymore pocket money thus me finding a job help solves that.. plus she gets money when i work.. she's so pro with acting nice..

lately i cant sleep earli.. sleep like 4am everyday.. almost.. i study of cos.. night time seems better to focus.. she keeps telling me to sleep earli.. like i'm some primary school kid who needs to sleep at 10pm everyday.. come on! give me a break pls.. i'm 19 years old already.. who does she think she is.. i told her that i'm not a kid anymore! guess wad she tells me.. "but u're not 21 either".. what the fuck? so if i'm not 21 i'm a kid la! that i have to listen when she's tells me to sleep... do what she tells me to.. if i'm a kid then u shld jolly well fucking pay me till i finish school..

I'm so stressed with exams fyp tests and everything.. i stil have to pay my phone bills with my own pocket money.. bills bills bills... bills my mom dont have to pay.. like electricity and water bills which my dad pays.. hse and car paid for.. she onli has to pay her phone bills and she dont even give me enuf pocket money.. Reali dont get it..

But there one thing that comes out of this.. my goal in life:

when i'm 21.. i'm moving out..

i'll get a job now and save wadever i can for the next 2 years

rent a small apartment

i wana get out of here so badly

cos as long as i'm 21 and above i can do whatever i want

i'm not legally in her care anymore

how i live my life its none of her business

if i ever need financial help NEVER go to her, nth good ever comes out when u talk money with her

bitch

i'm so glad i got dear

he makes everything ok

i know that if one day i'm so pissed and i run away from home.. i have somewhr to go

somewhr safe

hate being in this stupid stupid hse

no freedom though she claims she gives me alot.. my ass she does!

Dear in camp now.. miss him already.. no one to complain to..

Sux..

I wish time would pass by faster

alot faster

Like maybe teleport me in 2 years time

that's all i need really

Life sux.. that's the moral of this entry

Made-of-Honour is damn nice!!!

2008-05-27T22:52:00.002+08:00

=)Princess(=

Today went out with dear and we watched made-of-honour!!! damn damn nice show!! haha.. typical but nice.. Michelle Monaghan is damn pretty!!! She looks so cute and hot... lol... Patrick Dempsey was alright but dear said he's very goodlooking.. haha.. He doesnt look the casanova type but he was in the movie lar.. but i guess in that kinda movie u cant find someone that looks too flirty.. then not romantic already.. haha.. and yes i cried! twice.. aiya.. sweet movie ma.. I think its reali a girly movie...

Anyway i cant seem to upload photos to my blog.. pek chek..

Tagged by Feng

2008-05-17T16:11:00.002+08:00

A)people who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B)tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse.these people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.

continue this game by sending it to other people.

#1 if your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

Break lo.. ehh.. betrayal is a serious thing k..

#2 if you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

To get married and travel around the world..

#3 what will your dream wedding be like?

Wedding got ceremony, honeymoon, bla bla leh.. qns nt clear.. hmm.. my dream wedding wud be on a cruise ship sailing towards our honeymoon destination.. Venice!!

#4 are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?

Nope.. Dun care wat lies ahead..

#5 what's your idea lover like?

Hot and wild! no lar.. must be SINCERE, SWEET and always there to protect me... Like dear at times! HOHO

#6 which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

Being loved by someone.. of cos..

#7 if the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for him her to change his her feeling?

Nope.. Just be great friends with the person.. Rather gain a friend then lose one.. dowan to harbour any hopes..

#8 if the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

Snatch him away la! haha.. crazy.. Just go be friends with that guy lor.. haha..

#9 is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?

my mom

#10 what do you want most in life?

Money! cos $$$=power.. ehh.. seriously.. its freedom and a happy marriage with dear

#11 is being tagged fun?

ok lar.. haha.. got sth gimme blog..

#12 how do you see yourself in ten years time?

Married with lots of kids and a good paying part-time job.. =)

#13 who is currently the most important person to you?

DEAR

#14 what kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

Nice and trustworthy person.. Phelgmatic ppl are always nice ppl.. =)

#15 would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?

Poor is how poor.. not bankrupt ok lar.. got food on the table everyday can liao.. married but poor! poor but xinfu ma..

#16 what's the first thing you do every morning?

Press "snooze" on my phone.

#17 would you give all in a relationship?

I've been giving it all for 3 years.. haha!

#18 if you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

The one who propose? no la.. can propose means rich liao ma.. must be fair.. The one who treats me better of cos..

#19 what type of friends do you like?

Someone who is able to read my mind and share what they feel.. e.g. I say half sentence they understand liao..

#20 if you played a prank on someone, & he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?

I wont be able to do that in the first place.. My plan sure backfire de..lol

Ppl I'm gonna tag.. Not much cos i dont have many friends who have blogs..

1. Sis

2. Juan

3. Huiyi

4. Raven ( i know u wont do de la.. haha)

5. Qilu

6. NIL

7. NIL

8 NIL

Just bored..

2008-05-14T23:25:00.004+08:00

=) Princess (=

For those who are concerned abt my previous post... dont be.. cos i'm always like that with my mom.... More so now cos u know.. mom's this age.. menopausal liao..

Anyway.. just bored and tired of everyday life.. Missed the tiring but independent carefree life in Shanghai.. cept that we were poor there..

My mom always told me that family is forever cos no matter how far we are apart we are stil a family.. Right.. cos her other half always let her down.. I guess her relationships never go well.. Not with papa and not so with eric... Anyway she also always tells me that having a boyfriend is a bonus.. Cos she says sometimes its not good to be blinded by love... I dont see eye to eye with her most of the times and this is no exception.. You dont chose ur family but u do get to chose your life partner.. I dont believe in fate but i believe in chemistry.. Therefore.. my point is.. as the saying goes.. "Dont marry someone you can live with but someone you cant live without".

So lucky i got dear when i have family like mine.. lol..

oh well... its the tireness talking now... zZz

I HATE MY MUM

2008-05-11T12:55:00.003+08:00

=)Princess(=

Happy fucking mother's day

This day holds no more meaning for me anymore

That fucking bitch is the most selfish hyprocrite mother..

All because she lost money in some investment...

She has savings.. Money can be earned.. Why does her carelessness or bad luck must come on to me..

Her lost in money can cost my life... She wont pay me pocket money anymore.. I have to pay my own bills.. my own shopping.. my own transport.. She expects me to manage all that under 300 bucks??

Our desktop is crashing and she doesnt care.. She claims she'll only buy a new one when it crashes.. Wow.. how conveniently are all our files in there huh..

She expects our whole family to survive on one laptop? My sis O level.. i final year and i'm looking for a job to support myself.. And she says I dont appreciate her.. Everyday she complains that i never take care of my sis.. That she shld be studying 24/7.. she is not some robot and everyone deserves some slack time...

I try to find good laptop deals so at least we can save some money on buying expensive desktop/laptop.. wow.. she actually said i'm trying to spend her money like no one's business..

And she dare to say that since i'm finding work why dont i buy my own laptop.. Do u think i'm able to find such a good paying job while studying my final year? I still got to pay for my own personal expenses.. Hello?!?!

She also said that if i find work she wont pay for remaining months of pocket money.. So if i'm working i dont get pocket money? I'm trying hard to earn extra money here and now i'm just working to survive..

I dont even wana speak to her.. she makes no sense and everything that concerns money either means she get the better deal or there is some condition to it.. which of cos she stil gets the better end... I told her im nt even working yet how am i suppose to get money to buy laptop.. she says she'll pay half.. but she wont buy desktop if it crashes... like wtf omg?!

She complains abt the money she paid for my Shanghai trip when she told me that she was okay with sponsoring.. if i had known i wud have just applied for local attachment.. I rather not she complain abt the money... What a hypocrite.. She only paid like 1.5k+? less than 2k she complain wad.. she can earn that in a week! I was in Shanghai for 2 fucking months! Come oN!

I suddenly miss my dad.. Although im not close to him and sometimes he can be quite a bastard there one thing he's not.. Family comes first to him and no matter how poor he is.. He will still give me money when i know he is need of it more than me... Money is family to my mom.. Even family have conditions when taking her money..

I suddenly feel bankrupt.. like the world whr i lived in.. A place whr i know i wud have always enuf to spend has suddenly disappeared.. I dont even have money for sch now..

The worse thing she said was she just found out she had such a selfish daughter who doesnt appreciate her mother for paying all my expenses (I'm studying for goodness sake how am i suppose to pay for them myself) like braces and stuff.. and that i'm ungrateful and stil a teenager!! Omg.. that's like wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf!?! She thinks i'm being childish here and crying and throwing my temper like a teenager?

I'm 19 and she still thinks i'm a child! She says as long as i'm below 21 she has the legal right to control and judge me.. okaay... if that is wad she thinks i will give it to her.. When i'm 21 i'm gonna move out whether she likes it or not.. She shld be happy living in a hse with one less ungrateful daughter.. I hope she is happy when she has gotten rid of her daughters out of the house.. And grow old alone by herself.. I'll see if eric really loves her by then.. that asshole.. they too got their own issues...

Cry until i headache.. I cant even do my work needed for tml.. So many things to worry about.. How i wish time wud pass by faster.. Dear wud take me away.. far far away from this horrible place..

Ultra Kawaii - Animal Idol

2008-05-04T15:05:00.001+08:00

Saw this cute video on Youtube!!

Polls

2008-04-29T21:00:00.003+08:00

Every 2 - 3 weeks we will change the poll question so if u are lazy to tag or when u're bored reading blog entries u can come and do polls on our blog!!

lol.. sometimes we'll put up more than 1 polls so please vote as many times as u can k!! haha..

Sun-Day

2008-04-27T23:28:00.003+08:00

=) Princess (=

What a tiring day today... Woke up at 11 plus.. tried to connect my mp3 to my pc but somehow it didnt work.. tried to change wires stil cannot work.. can on leh.. so my mp3 not spoiled.. thought maybe my cable was spoilt but then all the working cables i tried didnt work.. So i tried connecting my mp3 on the laptop.. it worked!! Waste my time trying all the wires.. zzz.. But also no use cos laptop dont have the songs i wanted.. So i tried to connect it again.. this time directly to the CPU and not from the extension.. Then only it worked... stupid com.. going to crash any moment.. so old already.. my mom says "still can work ma.. so dun need buy".. k lo.. wait till it crashes lor.. all ur files gone den u start to panic too late liao..

Ate lunch at 2.30.... went out at 4.. Mom had complementary movie tickets.. Decided to watch either Forbidden Kingdom or Doomsday.. But we had forgotten that both were NC16.. We were buying the tickets we then realised.. My sis haven pass her birthday yet so ya.. Not 16 yet they dun allow.. Some places see year some see birthdate... sux lor...

Anyway i wanted to watch neither cos Forbidden Kingdom i watched b4 already and Doomsday dear say he wana watch.. And bcos of this i argued with my mom la.. cos she said she Doomsday was her first choice and i told her i dowan to watch that cos i promise other ppl already.. Then we were told that the complementary tickets doesnt cover for Forbidden Kingdom either.. So it was like.. wth sia.. This cannot that cannot.. Argue also no use wad lidat..

So in the end me and sis watch Superhero movie and my mom and eric watched Doomsday.. which apparently they said it sucky.. To me Doomsday from the trailer looked like an imitation of Resident Evil leh.. Dunno lar... quite unoriginal the storyline.. And Superhero Movie was lame sia.. haha.. entertaining but yar.. those kinda movies u'll just get the dvd and watched it with frenz but not worth the money to go to a cinema to watch it..

Had pepper lunch for dinner and went to far east to shop awhile.. Bought a pair of slippers and a belt..

Sianx.. tml got school.. somehow u dread the going-to-school-part but when u're there with frenz and everything sch can be quite fun.. The only thing sianx is sometimes u cant slp at night and u cant fight the tiredness during lectures..

Missed dear alot today.. Poor dear got sick today.. Hope u're feeling better soon!

Tried to put Fake Eyelashes today...

2008-04-26T23:48:00.002+08:00

=) Princess (=

Tried to put on fake lashes today.. lol... Bought them at jurong point today.. Dunno whether u all can see anot but put le veri kua zhang leh i feel.. super long and super thick.. I think u can click on the picture to open it in another window to see it more clearly?

They were brown eye lashes! haha.. but quite nice lar.. just that i had a hard time sticking the ends cos when i blink and blink they get out of place easily..

Juan sleeping over!

2008-04-26T01:55:00.000+08:00

=) Princess (=

Ever since i came back from Shanghai i haven had the time to meet up with my BFF lar.. Sianx lor first two weeks already got homework and assignment and everything.. Stress stress.. Third year alr.. this is how it shld be i guess..

Anyway.. that's no excuse for not catching up with ur frenz exp ur bestest ones!! So anyway.. she is at my place now.. staying over so we can chat till our heart's content... haha.. Showed her all the Shanghai photos we took... all the stuff i bought.. lol.. Fun sia.. But i had to leave earli in the morning the next day so we didnt spend much time tgt.. oh well..

She really liked the painting and the doll i gave her.. haha.. if i had more money i wud have bought more stuff but yeah.. everyone was on budget cos of the stupid 400 bucks.. zzz..

kk.. gtg

Just Shuddup!

2008-04-17T18:17:00.004+08:00

=)Princess(=

Today was a fucked up day.. Thanks to someone.. For every situation there is always a line to draw.. whether its clear or blur the fucking line is stil there.. So please.. If u are friend enuf.. keep the insults to yourself.. Dont know wats ur fucking prob but i'm sure i'll never do that to you so pls just back off..

I'm more hurt than pissed but like what u always say, do u think i care? Yeah, Whatever...

Prolly regret posting this entry in the future, but for now i'm too pissed to bother..

Back to School...

2008-04-16T20:15:00.003+08:00

=)Princess(=

Everything is falling back into place like it should be.. Though it may not be fair, its a way of "nature" i guess.. Lol.. Blur? I'm just crapping.. haha.. just a thought..

I realised everyone is like getting attached.. haha.. All the pple i know are getting attached one by one.. We are all getting old and older?.. haha.. Soon we'll all be getting married.. wow.. long way to go there..

After this OITP thingy.. i think the 9 of us that went to Shanghai has become closer.. But when sch starts, everyone goes back to their former cliques.. (which is part of what i was talking abt in the first paragraph) hmm.. dunno whether we will be stil close after graduation.. sacali everyone graduate, u go your way i go mine.. kinda sux that way.. Anyway u guys (as in guy guys not gals, u noe hu u are) are like always bullying me on purpose..

Dowan this to continue whole life la huh.. Cant imagine when i'm like 30 plus and Khai Tuck calls me on the phone, "Hey DUMMY!" and ZiHao stil saying to me, "U suck!" Seriously.. ... i shall not say more.. Haha.. Ehh.. but thanks for sticking ard ya! One more year left.. Refrain abit lar.. lol

Think this year would be a hectic year for me.. Final year.. and this sem we have MST (Mid-sem test).. Like OMG! PLUS!FYP! plus i need to get a job so i can pay some house expenses cos my mom sponsored quite a bit for my Shanghai trip..

Dunno how i'm gonna cope cos i'm always so lazy and sleeping so much.. scared cannot tahan leh.. Already a panda.. i dunno wats worse than that.. argh!

Back From Shanghai!! Back to my Sunny Island!

2008-04-15T21:55:00.021+08:00

=)Princess(=

This blog is so stale can!! (Raven dun say "can".. haha) This lazy dear of mine cant bother to even update.. zzz.. Anyway most of the pple who come see this blog are usually my friends so ok la huh..

Kk.. first things first.. just got back from Shanghai like 3 days ago? Today is the 2nd day of school.. busy busy! Dont even have time to update blog and catch up with the busy Singapore city life!

Let me just tell you in a nutshell how the miserable yet memorable 7 weeks has passed in Shanghai.. Actually its not really in a nutshell cos there are 400 over photos i have taken.. Haha.. So i just pick "some" out.. lol

Pictures speak a thousand words but i shall guide you guys through ya..

As we were about to board the plane.. we took a grp photo.. see u Singapore in 7 weeks!! BooHoo..

Some pictures I took on the plane.. lol

The lunch I tried to eat on the plane...

Justin taking a nap during our 5-hour flight...

First look at our student hostel.. Looks clean but its not! Dusty and the doors cant be closed properly.. Sianx.. A little unpacking to help us settle down (below).

First day at work... This is one of the bridge we have to cross everyday to get to our labs...

Xiao Long Bao and Tang Bao awaits us!!

Below are some shots I took during our River Cruise..

Dong Fang Ming Zhu Tai, Shanghai's Radio Tower at the back.. We tried to smile but failed cause it was very bright at that time.. lol

Took this at ECUST campus.. Top sign says no cars allowed and the bottom signs says no horning allowed. Looks like a trumpet doesn't it.. haha

We call this place the Mango Sorbet shop.. Sells bubble tea, milkshakes, and of cos mango sorbet topped with ice cream for onli 5 yuan = S$1... Wah!

I merged 4 pictures into 1.. so pls see carefully.. haha.. This is Cheng Huang Temple.. It sells alot of Chinese traditional and modern stuff... Traditional stuff got Dragon Beard Candy which Mun is eating, & also sweets, mochi and tea! Modern stuff includes Esprit, starbucks, coffee bean....

This is our favourite and most missed cafe.. We call it the Aunty Shop (in chinese).. We dun like canteen food so we usually come here to eat instead.. lol.. The 3rd picture is Strawberry with condense milk on top of crushed ice.. Yums!

The day we first time played Ping Pong.. Khai and Justin doing the pose from Balls of Fury..

2nd arranged tour! This is the Old Town; Jiang Nan Gu Zhen, alot of paintings, handmade crafts, and most amazingly, handmade crafts made from leaves! See below...

One-of-a-kind picture.. Our very own World War 3.. The dryer/spinner thing was spinning so violently the whole washing machine toppled down from the platform!! Our clothes were in it!! Poor me and raven had to wash our clothes again...

The first time we went out ourselves, taking public transport.. We went to Xu Jia Hui to eat Pizza Hut!! Finally some decent food! China food is so oily and salty..

How can we forget our first birthday girl in Shanghai... Happy birthday Feng!!

Bings intro us this super far away but damn nice road side stall place.. Golden mushrooms were heavenly...! so was the fried rice and fried noodles and BBQ stuff... *BURP!*

Me and Raven's supper! Swweeet strawberries in milk!!

As u can see from the picture.. u know whr we are.. Here we can buy train tickets and go to other parts of China..

This is Nanjing Road... Similiar to Singapore's Orchard Rd.. Look at the pple here... Like ants in an anthill...

Here at Nanjing Rd, cos ppl traffic is overwhelming, they have ppl traffic lights on pedestrian roads.. lol.. As if anyone wud abide by them.. zzz, esp in China..

We chanced upon the sun setting behind us and took a shot.. Nice right?

We walked to Cheng Huang Temple by ourselves this time and that's us drinking Coffee Bean.. We have already been out for almost 7 hours!!

Khai and Justin pretending to drink from the enormous tea pot... Bottoms up guys!

The Coca-Cola bottle is attached to the building.. This is Nanjing Rd.. We were heading towards home from Cheng Huang Temple...

Ooh... Our first birthday boy in Shanghai.. Happy birthday buddy!!! haha... The Happy birthday Raven was written by me.. and that's all our messages written on the back of a JJ poster we bought at the Mango Sorbet building.. lol..

This was taken before we surprised Raven... hehe..

2nd time we went out by ourselves.. Gu Bei Carrefore.. We had Secret Recipe for dinner.. Wah.. A sense of closeness to Singapore... They sold laksa and curry there!!

This is a glimpse of the famous Super Brand Mall.. 10 stories high with 2 wings, like vivo but much bigger!

This is China prata... haha.. But the stalls says Taiwan Shou Zua Bing.. Anyone heard of it? It tastes like prata just that it is eaten with chili and ketchup and not with curry.. haha..

Feng and Raven taking a bite.. YUM!!!

One of cold nights in Shanghai.. The sky was so cloudy and heavy that is covered almost half of the Dong Fang Ming Zhu Tai..

The day we went to Hang Zhou:

Few days before departure.. Outside one of the shopping malls at Xu Jia Hui:

Me and Senior Yu Yang:

Me and Senior YaYa:

Me and Senior Hu Bing:

The day before Departure.. Happy birthday to Me.. ! We all went to sing K..

Minutes before my birthday was over.. Senior Alex came all the way from Pu Dong to wish me Happy Birthday!

Sleeping late the night before cos i had alot of things to stuff in my luggage.. Help!!

The morning before we left for the airport.. Senior Alex and Wang were there to send me off.. Thanks!!! =)

Our last meal at our favourite Aunty shop... =(

7 weeks passes by like a breeze when we were having fun though some China pple like to kpkb for no reason.. My mentors and seniors were all so nice and sweet.. And the aunty shop aunty.. will miss her alot too! Which is why this trip is miserable yet memorable... Aw... i miss my lab already.. and the cheap food and shopping, late night suppers and cooking and washing up and watching late night tv.. But I'm glad to be back with all my friends and family and dear!!

The day before i leave Singapore..

2008-02-24T22:30:00.005+08:00

=)Princess(=
I'm so so so so nervous excited stress and depressed all mixed together!! no dear.. no family but loads of frenz.. that shld keep me going.. lol

So glad that dear could be here with me whole night.. not planning to slp at all!! sleep on the plane lor!! 5 hour nap shld be sufficient right? haahaha..

Scared i never bring enuf clothes or stuff that i forget that might be important.. oh well.. money and phone is the most important.. clothes too! dowan to freeze to death.. boo....

Dear is playing dota right now.. sianx.. dot dot.. he is suppose to pei wo now and yeah.. see wats he doing.. think the game finishing alr.. haha.. took some home pics so i wont miss home!! yawn.. Sis playing piano.. complaining bored and sianx.. haha

i wonder how alvin and chels and zihao are doing overseas right now.. working hard? eating well playing fun? hope so!!

Thank god for internet and technology.. haha.. so i can contact anyone at anytime!! Esp dear.. lol.. i hope i brought enuf cash with me.. 1.3k shld cover basic expenses.. i cant shop too much cos my luggage is totally packed!! if i buy anything i have to hand carry it home.. lol..

Everyone is telling me to be careful be careful.. dont get cheated.. dont leave ur things ard otw ppl will steal.. muz always be on guard.. esp i so blur and dumb.. I KNOW! haha.. i will be careful.. eat only hot stuff and guard my wallet with my life.. and of cos dear lappy (xiao lao po) too! lol... 10 more hours b4 i leave all my loved ones! but 7 weeks will fly by reali reali fast right? right??

Shanghai here i come!!

2008-02-11T10:48:00.000+08:00

Going for dental now.. excited about collecting our couple rings... hee...

Simple Plan's latest album rocks!!

Troubled....

2008-02-11T07:35:00.001+08:00

=) Princess (=

Seeing Tyra Bank's show is like.. "wow.. nv knew such things can happen.. but now we know".. Seeing Ellen Degeneres show is like.. "out with the serious stuff cos dancing and having fun is the way to live life!!" Seeing Martha Steward wud most probably be like.. "Hey mom!!... MOM!" Anyway.. my point is everything that happens to me i treat it for real... i mean.. i nv doubt the reality.. guess i'm reali gullible like dear says.. I see the the world the way she looks at me.. and not how she reali looks at me.. get it? I'm being conned here man.. Everyone i know could be lying to me and i take it as the truth.. The closest people could be telling me things to make it seem everything is as planned.. as it shld be.. and i take it all in.. ALL OF IT...

the onli person i reali trust in this world is Dear.. He's not family but he's my closest..

my family is screwed.. the one i'm always bickering to, loves me the most and my closest one is nth but a volcano of lies.. yes.. i'm finally getting to the point huh.. i'm up so earli now cos i'm having cramps.. but dont be mistaken. this is not a post due to me period okay... i'm just up earli and just felt like blogging..

so anyway i was reading my other frenz blogs.. some were good i must say.. and some were just horrible horrible lies... i guess sometimes people blog to be perceived by a certain way by their frenz.. so their frenz will look at them how they want them to.. But of cos not everyone is like that.. some just blog to release stress and anger.. to share.. to waste time.. etc.. so i guess blogging is different to everyone..

she's an attention seeker.. but no matter how much u give.. its never enuf.. i always treated her the best.. and now she becomes a perpetual liar.. she regards frenz as diamonds and family as dung.. I thought we were close... close enuf for her to tell me everything.. i was wrong.. she tells me nth.. onli the things that needed to be said.. Nth is real.. i'm so stupid.. i dunno who is she anymore!!!

Dear is not everything.. But he's the only thing i need..

Legos!

2008-02-08T20:59:00.000+08:00

Found some cool pictures on the net... All made from legos!!

And for the finale..

The tallest Lego tower was built in Californian Legoland from more than 450 000 elements of Lego. Its height is 30 metres!!

Chinese New Year shopping!!!

2008-01-29T11:47:00.000+08:00

=)Princess(=

Wee... Love shopping.. dun care when!! The only thing stopping its erms.. $$$$$$.. haha.. no work no money cannot shop till drop! sads.. oh well...

Went shopping yesterday with mommy.. and that means no need to spend a single cent.. hehe.. Bought a pair of boots, one pair of jeans, cute panties, stockings, ermx.. fake eyelashes, wat else.. that's all i think.. for now.. lol.. after exams going shop again! hehe..

Dearie @ mum shop

2008-01-20T23:05:00.000+08:00

=)Knight(=

Hoho guess what !!! special day lol... i actually manage to see dearie on a sunday wahahahhaha (she happy like mad).

I early early go mum shop zz so tired about 7am open shop.. wake dear up at 830... wait for her to come zz so long always say make up .. dummy dearie dunno how to come to mum shop.. have to go mrt to fetch her.. so noob.. lol..

Guess what.. my maid introduced all the expensive clothes to dear.. >.< and dear try all on for me see hahaa so cute la.. yea.. and dear took all.. lol.. mummy say no need pay.. but yea.. i have to pay with work to do for her zzz.. so sianz.... if only i'm rich wahahah After that we rush to JEC for the cloverfield movie.. haha super confusing la the movie and the ending is like wtf.. no body knew it was ending hahahahah yea.. so basically it was a short but fun and special day for us.. cause dearie got exam tml.. so i after that i bring her go MRT and she have to go home study le.. anyway i was quite tired haha.. i hope dear show all her dresses off :o

=)Princess(=

Hoho.. dear finally update huh.. lol.. anyway i just wanted to add in pictures of our movie ticket! that was the funniest part.. we reached JEC like 2.31 and the show starting alr! But the counters were all closed... dammit lor.. dunno wad they were doing.. technical fault or sth.. so anyway we told them we wana watch the 2.30 cloverfield so she gave us dummy tickets!! look look below! wahaha..

Handwritten tickets issued to us...And that's just the back portion of it!

Here's the front portion.. but its just crap.. lol

Exams..............

2008-01-19T20:07:00.000+08:00

=)Princess(=

This song has been stuck in my head for awhile.. lol.. A thousand miles is like ancient but it's still nice.. reminds me of the time dear pei wo study at jurong point BK.. we were having breakfast and this song was playing.. lol.. i dunno whether dear remembers it or not.. So long ago alr.. mayb one yr ago.. who knows..

Haix.. anyway exams are in a few days time.. stress!! but i think i'm on track with my studies.. hopefully i can manage and dun take slack-time too often.. lol... like now.. hehe..

A well planned day.. that's rare..

2008-01-15T20:52:00.000+08:00

=)Princess(=

Went to dental today.. My doctor was on maternity leave so i had a replacement doctor.. She was kinda rough with my braces.. like she wanted to deal with it quickly and get on to the next patient.. lol.. but ok lar.. she just tightened them so it didn't take long anyway..

We then went to 2nd level to shop for toothbrush.. lol.. bought two.. one for home use one for travel use.. Can bring to shanghai.. =p

We then went to Plaza Singapura to watch AVP2... 2.15 show.. Bought tickets at 12 plus so we decided to have lunch.. We ate LJS.. My braces started to hurt by then but i could stil eat.. thankfully.. Unfortunately though, i had headache after that.. dunno why also.. sianx.. We stil had some time to kill so dear say we go walk walk shop shop to take my mind off..

Yay.. saw alot nice clothes and shoes!! and then we went to Couple Lab see rings... Yeah.. we haven buy yet.. no money.. the ones we like were $78+ so we decided to just take a look.. Anyway we kinda decided which design we liked already.. so save up some money now.. next month we order.. hopefully before i go Shanghai it will be ready..

My headache became worse la.. sux... dear bring me to Gelare sit sit.. Help me order Hot chocolate.. hopefully it will take away my headache.. The hot choco smells good nia...

My "headache go away" Hot chocolate being served with its respective "maintaince fee"

Me playing with the thick chocolate that hasn't been stirred... pretty?

well.. its gotta be stirred at some point... thanks alot dear..

Yummy! hot, sweet and chocolate-ty... Going... going.. ehh? gone liao... Oh well..

Rested awhile.. the headache didn't hurt as much while i was enjoying the drink.. but it was not totally gone... it was alr 2.10.. time to go!

AVP2 was nice.. but why onli 1 predator ah?? Solo kia...

OUR RATING:

After movie we headed down to SP.. me need to hand in applied micro data sheet.. lol.. den we went home.. poor dear had to go home earli to help mom out...

Ouch... ok now that i had taken panadol my headache seems to be gone.. but not my ache from my braces.. i think tml no need to eat liao..

kk.. wan watch tv alr... =)

~Shanghai Trip~

2008-01-13T11:29:00.000+08:00

=)Princess(=

Alright.. just to remind myself and to my fellow peeps that i'm leaving for internship.....soon..but not so soon.. haha.. The later the better.. lol..

I'll be leaving on the 25th of Feb (Boarding time 1010)
Be back on the 12th April (arrival time 2050)

So sads! 1 day after my birthday... 1 day! Sux.. nvm la.. wad to do.. haha.. Nvm la.. dear u get an extra day to prepare.. hehe..

p.s. Anyone wants Alvin and the Chipmunks ost album? Just ask away and i'll send ya!

As the day i go Shanghai gets closer...

2007-12-27T22:34:00.000+08:00

=)Princess(=

I dread the day i go shanghai for oitp.. I SWEAR I WILL MISS DEAR LIKE CRAZY~!

Dear gt everything planned for me alr sia..wad i shld bring how much i shld carry.. his lappy.. his daddy's contact.. haix.. dunno wad i will do without u sia..

But at the same time i'm excited to go Shanghai.. going to another country to work is reali exciting.. get to know other pple's culture and food and of cos shopping!!!! I will buy back loads of prezzies for all my buddies! dont worry guys!..

Reali wana thank dear for always protecting and worrying for me this past two years.. Sori ah.. i always give u trouble.. make u settle for me.. boo..

Sianx.. school starting soon.. Nooooooooo... tests tests tests and exams.. I started abit on everything.. lol.. and i haven finished studying any.. jialat.. stil got PBL haven done yet.. OMG! 2008 will be a stressful year..

p.s. no one reads my bloggie de ah? everytime see no taggie de.. sads nia..

Merry X'mas & Happy Anniversary~!!

2007-12-25T23:57:00.000+08:00

First things first.. Merry Christmas to all!! =)

25th of December marks the most memorable day for us as it is also our anniversary.. officially.. Yeah.. so lets start with the prezzies.. Yammy bought bag & Shir bought cardigan and dumbells...

Guess what.. We both wanted to buy watch for each other at first! lol.. but we as poor students couldn't afford to buy a nice watch.. minimum jiu need 100 bucks at least.. jialut..

So anyway.. we wanted to re-enact the day we met which is not the 25th but the 16th.. anyway.. 25th is the official date ma.. so ya.. u get the point.. wanted to -thon on christmas eve but yammy-to-shir's prezzie not ready.. zzz.. so we decided to postpone the -thoning on christmas day itself.. which is today.. and we're not -thoning now.. we are at home.. zzz shall not talk abt that..

So ya.. Shir went to Yammy house in the morning to make breakfast... then we watch a few episodes of Heroes season 2 till around 3 or 4pm.. We then headed down to cineleisure to get movie tickets.. (I am Legend; 9pm)

Walked down orchard road towards taka for awhile.. Then headed back to cine for dinner.. Pasta Mania.. Time pass sooo so fast when we're together.. Veri soon it was time to go in the cinema.. The movie was not bad.. but there was too much suspense and sudden scenes..

After that we headed home liao.. sianx lar!

Exam over!

2007-12-18T21:43:00.000+08:00

=)Knight(=

Yay exams finally over last week.. super stress zzz but glad its over.. i think i fail one module again *sob*sob* longer life as a student zzz..

Dear's holiday also started liao heee can meet more often now.. and means i must excercise more ( lol ).. must really run everyday ah? ~_~

Anyways.. just happy can meet u more nowadays even though we argue alot haha. love u lots dear :) dear's going to shanghai soon next year :/ 7 weeks..! zzz.. loner life again.. 24/7 pia game haha... dear u must remember to call me k? you can bring my laptop so no excuses for u =D
i buy u the international calling card and remind me give u my papa number.. in case things happen there.. ok? MUST CALL OK? MUST!!! i warn u first :p

finally can meet dear tomorrow liao haha,, i also havent buy ur pressie.. can't get it in time from overseas.. sorry hor must wait till it comes in Jan.. but will give some other things.. dont worry.. lol.. *sob at wallet* .. can't wait for that day :) love u lots..

ps: take care of my xiao lao po there.. lol..

How To Make Instant Hot Ice

2007-12-16T17:07:00.001+08:00

yay... its the hols!

2007-12-15T21:48:00.000+08:00

=)Princess(=

Yay.. finally.. Its the festive season.. hee.. CHRISTMAS! also our anniversary.. wee...~

We deciding to buy couple ring to celebrate our 2nd year anniversary.. Hee.. My wish is coming true.. Dear always ignore my hints..

Hmm.. the actual present i stil haven thought of wad to buy yet leh.. abit hard.. cos there are many things i can buy but i not sure wad is most ideal for an anniversary.. muz think about it but i dun have much time! I onli have like 1 week plus to get the prezzie.. Stil need to study also... jialat.. 2 weeks reali no enuf sia.. hmm.. anyone got any ideas whr is a great place to go eat? haha.. somewhr nice but not expensive? lol..

No emo Stop emo!

2007-12-09T21:28:00.000+08:00

=)Princess(=

Urgh... its been such an emo week for me.. Buay tahan.. its soo not me! i cant stand being emo.. keep thinking and thinking about stuff non-stop.. wan die liao.. wa~

Anyway.. i just wana say thanks to all my great buddies who were so concerned about me.. Msg me and stuff.. yahh.. Just wana say i lurve ya guys! Gimme support so i wud not feel so alone.. I'm just hoping things will get better and though i wish so badly that it wud go back to the way it was before, i should try and work things out instead of mourning about it.. I always only know how to complain and never take action..

Haix.. i miss dear so much i think my heart stop beating alr.. numb.. i dun feel a thing now.. I dunno wad to do.. dunno whether i wana meet wana msg wana call.. Dear pls save me.. Boo...

I hate myself

2007-12-07T16:09:00.001+08:00

=)Princess(=

I hate myself for being such a cry baby.. i cry about everything.. whether i'm sad or angry or in pain i cry.. i just cant help it.. i keep telling myself not too but the tears just wont stop.. I cant stop crying cos of you.. U basket... always make me cry.. and i know i'm not supposed to.. Small thing onli i cry.. sux man.. i hate myself..

Anyway whether i cry or not u also dun care.. If someone u love cries, will ur heart hurt? I guess i'm looking for comfort but sadly u're not there for me.. Mayb that's why i cry alot.. bcos u dun give a damn abt me sometimes.. I'm sure you'll say otherwise... If so.. fucking prove it to me cos most of the time i really cannot feel it..

It sux even more when u're crying about your r/s bcos if u're sad or angry about like family or friends u know there's always your dear to turn to.. But when its your dear that makes u sad.. To me its the sadest thing in the world.. Cos there's no one closer to turn to that can listen and comfort you.. I'm so freaking pissed and i cant stop crying.. Help~

I know u have alot of exams and need to study and i shld let u do so and not distract you by wanting to meet you but the thing is u dun call.. dun msg.. dowan to meet and u dun even plan to meet.. Its almost like u're hinting to me that u wan a silent break.. But i know u're not.. It just feels that way and it kinda sux.. Dear u promised me u wont bully me anymore le.. Urgh i cant even tell u how i feel right now cos i dowan to distract you studying.. I cant be selfish.. i want u to study hard and pass well... but i feel like fuck shit right now and i cant tell you.. I hate u but i miss u.. I dun even dare to call u right now.. I noe we will argue for sure.. I dowan it to affect your studies.. cos i'm sure it will affect mine.. but i dun really care that much right now.. I'll just probably bury myself to my next most comforting thing in life- the bed.. At least i noe it wont disappoint me..

Crappy Shitty Sucky day

2007-12-04T19:19:00.000+08:00

=)Princess(=

Not a single day i feel happy ever since i came back from M'sia... Actually in M'sia also not veri happy.. sickening period.. cannot enjoy.. dulan.. come back i thought got dear wud be much more happier but i was wrong..

I dun even know how it started but ya.. no one knows how fights start anyway.. aiya.. wat the hell i also dunno wad i wana blog.. just damn sianx damn pissed damn pek chek.. I just feel so angry at times and i dunno whether i angry at him or myself or just pissed about everything..

So confusing.. i hate to argue.. i love him and hate him equally much.. Make me cry for so long... And u dun even care.. Kinda disappointed at him but wad can i do.. I just want everything to be okay.. no mood to eat to study.. urgh.. i hate you but i love you.. I push u away but i want u to come back.. Dun really make sense but i dun reali fucking care.. Its just how i am k? Unreasonable u say but i just wan certain things my way.. selfish or not there are certain things i need from a relationship.. And its definitely not this.. treating me like shit..

I know u're sorry but if u dun change, a million sorries also no use de.. I'm sorry too dear.. cos I guess mayb i took things a little too seriously.. Mayb if i didn't mind so much about wad we said we wud not argue.. Duno lar.. just call for time out bah..

Y@y!!!! Dearest back in town!

2007-12-04T03:59:00.000+08:00

=)Knight(=

Hello and welcome back dearie :)) miss u lots while u were gone. got miss me there? =X you ah.. ask u call me when u are there.. 3 days only msg twice.. make me so worried... then last day so late reach home somemore. ur mummy call me like 4 times la.. :/

anyway, your trip sounds fun i also want go :( next time i got money i bring u go.. we go there shop like mad want? lol.. p.s. when i got money. ya.. i since like 10 years old never went Malaysia liao.. i'm a noob there.. next time u must bring me walk around k? =X

Pass me the chewing gum ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want eat so long never chew liao.. mouth super itchy haha..

and sorry that we arugue again just only when u get back from malaysia.. :/ but u know its all good for you.. call me when u read this k? I'm sorry.